Trees
by SpringHiller09
Summary: Part 2 of Hear You, Hear Me! Carlisle and Bella are forced to separate after being caught. Distance proves to be difficult for both for different reasons. However, when two people have an "epic love" between them, there isn't anything they can't overcome.
1. Days Drag On

**Chapter One: Days Drag On**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I watched as the moving truck disappeared at the end of the road, and finally lost the nerve in my legs. I slowly sat down in the spot he'd just vacated and brought my knees up to my eyes, crying. I cried for his job he'd loved so much that he gave up. For Edward who was going to change cities and schools when he'd been doing really well. For myself.

_This wasn't how it was supposed to end._

Those eight words played relentlessly in my head as I finally headed back to campus. Alice would tell me he did the right thing and that'd he'd be back. Jasper would tell me it was for the best and now I could finally find someone my age. Emmett would hate me. I took a few minutes to clean up before heading up to my apartment, but Alice knew something was wrong.

"Jasper?" She asked as I set my bag down. "Can you go pick up food?"

"Sure," He smiled, getting up and grabbing his keys. "Anything you girls want?"

"I'm not hungry." I lied. I was starving, but I didn't want to eat anything. I only wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep forever.

"Get anything as long as it isn't healthy." She told him. "And if you could, get a lot of junk food."

"Anything for you." He cooed as he bent down and kissed her cheek before leaving. Alice didn't ask any questions, she helped me get into bed and made sure I had the remote. After Jasper got back with the food, he got the hint I was going to need her and graciously left to go home. She stayed with me, basically spoon feeding me my food, but she didn't ask.

She already knew.

She made sure I was comfy and made sure all knives were out of my reach. She knew I'd talk when I was ready and I was not ready. At all. She took my phone from me and finally let me be alone. The thing she forgot to take was his sweatshirt and the pictures of us. I pulled the sweatshirt of my head, soaking in his smell and held the picture in my hand as I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning was one of the worst I'd had at college. It was nearly impossible to get out of bed, and when I finally did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I barely made it to our bathroom without crying myself silly, and I already knew it was going to be the worst seven months of my life. I knew I had to pull myself together...I had to get through this year.

If I didn't get through this year with my head high and my grades ever higher, everything Carlisle lost would be a waste. I had to do well in my classes and try to maintain a social life. I wasn't the type of girl who needed a guy on my arm to be okay. But, Carlisle wasn't just _a guy_. He was _my guy_ and I loved him. I missed him already and it hadn't been twenty four hours.

"Bella?" Alice asked through the bathroom door. "You almost done?"

"Yeah," I yelled when I realized I'd been in the shower for at least a half hour. I got out, dried off and threw on yoga pants and one of Carlisle's t-shirt.

"You can't wear that." Alice scolded once I came out of my room.

"Why?"

"It's Dr. Cullen's." She pointed out. "People will know."

"Let them." I cried.

"Bella, go change right now." She ordered and I didn't have the energy to fight her. I changed out of his shirt and into one of my own before pulling on my UGGS and walking to class. The class went by slower than my entire high school career all together. By the time lunch time rolled around, I was about to drive off campus into the city and just play hookie.

But, Alice wouldn't let me do that. She walked me to my last class of the day and made sure I went into class. This breakup was going to kill me, but at least I had Alice to watch me and keep me on track. I was grateful to have her.

Once my day was finally over, I headed back to our apartment, grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry's and climbed into bed. I so badly wanted to pick up the phone and call him, but I knew I couldn't. Who knew what Dean Gregory could find out and I wasn't going to risk it. The only thing that was confusing me is that Dead Gregory told me a student told him, but he told Carlisle a professor ratted us out.

The thing I really wanted to know was who it was that found out. Alice would never say anything and she had Jasper wrapped around her finger. He didn't rat us out either. Emmett was too scared Carlisle would lose his job that he would never say anything. Then, who had told? None of the people who knew would say anything. I knew that for a fact.

* * *

"How's she doing?" I heard Jasper ask as they made dinner a week after the breakup. "She doesn't seem any better."

"She isn't." Alice agreed. "But, she isn't giving up."

"Giving up?"

"On life." Alice explained. "She is getting up and going to her classes. She isn't eating much, but she's eating. She's going to keep going or else everything Carlisle did was a waste."

"What are you guys making?" I asked as I walked to the kitchen. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Shaped Mac N' Cheese." Jasper laughed. "We can make more if there isn't enough."

"You don't care if I crash your date, do you?"

"Not at all." Alice smiled. "We'd be happy if you ate with us."

"Thanks." I smiled, sitting down. At least I had the two of them to count on. We actually spent a very pleasurable night together. Jasper and Alice didn't play the love stuck couple they normally do, and they were actually able to drag me out of the apartment to the student lounge. Alice wasn't letting me drink, but it was entertaining to see Jasper getting a little tipsy.

"Thanks for tonight." I whispered as she catered to a passed out Jasper on our couch that night. He sure was a lightweight for as tall as he was.

"I'm glad I got you out of the house." She smiled, pulling a blanket on top of him. "I didn't know how much I could take."

"Yeah, well it's going to be a while until...I'm back." I told her.

"Bella, what happened?" She asked. The only thing I told her was he had to go for my own good. I finally realized it was time I told her the whole truth so I pulled her into my room and sat her on my bed. I told her everything from the meeting with Dean Gregory, to the photo's, to the last minute goodbye. By the time I was done, she was crying with me.

"Don't you dare start seeing someone else." She laughed as she gave me a hug. "I'll beat you if you do."

"I won't." I promised. "Not until I know he isn't coming back."

"He's coming back, Bella." She tried to assure me. "Carlisle was a good guy who loved you."

"Yeah, he loved me enough to give me more than a few hours warning that he was moving five hours away."

"You know he was just trying to process things and figure out a game plan." She defended. "And to make sure you didn't worry about it."

"Yeah, this is much better." As much as I missed him, I was pissed. I was so angry at him for only giving me a few hours notice. There were so many things I wanted to do before I said goodbye. I wanted to talk to Edward...really talk to him, say goodbye to his mother and actually have a real goodbye with him. I didn't even have a day to process.

* * *

"Where's Bella?" I heard Jasper's voice yell through the apartment almost two weeks after the breakup.

"She's still sleeping." I heard Alice tell him as I got up and pulled on my robe. I walked into the common room and he was flailing everywhere. "What's up?"

"Bella, have you seen these?" He asked, shoving pictures in my face. I took them out of my hand and looked at them before my breathing got heavy and my eyes widened.

"Where did you get these?" I asked, trying not to cry.

"They're all over campus." He whispered. Alice grabbed them out of my hands and I saw the color drain from her face. The pictures that Dean Gregory had were now all over the campus where everyone could see. Now everyone was going to know why Carlisle left and they would not be pleased. The only person I could think of who would go to this length to sabatage us was a blonde bimbo professor.

I grabbed the pictures from Alice, pulled on my boots and headed across campus to her building. I didn't even care that I was in PJ's or that she might have a class. Thankfully, she was in her office when I got there and I didn't even bother knocking.

"What did you do?" I demanded to know as I slammed the pictures on her desk. She stopped what she was doing on the computer and looked at the pictures, and only smirked.

"What I had to." She answered before going back to her work. I closed her laptop on her, which only made her angrier. "Can I help you?"

"I thought you liked Carlisle."

"I do."

"Then why would you do this to him?" I asked. "You got him kicked off campus."

"Well in my defense, I was hoping to get you kicked off."

"That wouldn't have made a difference."

"I don't know why you're so upset." She snickered. "I mean, can't you find someone your own age to fuck? Why do you need a guy who's almost fifteen years older?"

"We weren't just_ having sex_ and you know that Professor." I seethed. "You know it was much more than that. You just couldn't handle the fact he _didn't_ want you!"

"He was blinded by you." She said, her voice not so confident anymore. "And your boobs."

"My boobs have nothing to do with the fact that Carlisle has _NEVER_ liked you!" I yelled. "In fact, he _HATES_ you, Maddie. Do you know how much of a headache you were to him?"

"Miss Swan,"

"You were _SUCH_ a pain!" I told her. "You almost broke us up twice and now you've succeed."

"Took long enough."

"You know, if you cared about him like you claim...you wouldn't have done this to him. You wouldn't have exposed us." I explained. "Do you even know what love is, Professor Morris?"

"I know more than you, little girl."

"No, you don't." I argued. "Love is when you give up everything so the person you love can follow their dream. Love is...love is eating dinner with their family, weather you like it or not. Love is fighting for someone with everything you have. You...you don't know what love is."

"Please, you two were not in love."

"Wanna bet?" I asked. "Does this look like we were just screwing each other?" I asked, showing her the diamond necklace he gave me for my twenty-first birthday. Inscribed was the day he told me he loved me...that day two years ago. "You don't know anything, Professor. And now, you've ruined any chance you might have had with him."

I left her with that little thought and bolted out of the room. I should have known it was her. She'd been staying out of Carlisle's way for too long and I had a feeling it wasn't just because of her knew 'after school activities' with the head of the department. I went around to as much of the campus as I could to get the photo's, but NYU was a big school. There was no way in hell I was getting nearly any of them.

"So?" A familiar voice asked as I sat on one of the benches after I'd collected as many of the signs as I could. "The guy you were heart broken over was..."

"A professor here."

"Ah," He almost laughed. "I didn't peg you as a girl to consume yourself in an affair."

"It wasn't just an affair, Jake." I told him. "Believe it or not I wasn't just screwing the professor. I really loved him. We had an honest to God relationship. And they took it away from us."

"I'm sorry," He whispered. "I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay. I've been getting it all day."

"Well, it isn't anyone's business but yours." He smiled. "I heard her resigned."

"Yeah, so I could stay in school."

"He left so you could stay one more year?" He asked, sounding baffled. "Wow, it was a real relationship."

"I told you." I laughed.

"Are you over for good?"

"Hopefully not." I sighed. "But, we have to stay apart until I graduate...I'm not even allowed to email him."

"That blows."

"You have no idea." I laughed. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Nothing much." He sighed. "Leah broke up with me."

"Love hurts."

"I'm really okay." He assured me. "I was starting to get close to her, but I don't think I was in love yet."

"Good, cause love hurts." I laughed. "Still, it must hurt."

"It did, but I've kinda had my eyes on this other brunette with gorgeous eyes." He said, nudging my side.

"Jake,"

"I know, you're still fresh out of a serious relationship." He backed off. "I just...want you to know your options."

"I'll keep that in mind." I laughed. Jake and I had gotten closer since freshman year and he was one of my best friends on campus. He was a nice change of pace from Alice.

"So," He started. "Have you had your night?"

"My night?"

"To get shit faced drunk and not worry about breaking up?"

"No?"

"Wanna join me?" He asked. "I mean, I have had mine, but I was going to go to a party tonight."

"You know what?" I asked. "That sounds...fun." I laughed. Nothing had sounded fun in weeks.

I headed back to my apartment not much later and jumped in the shower. Alice was with Jasper for the weekend and I was free to do whatever I pleased. I got out of the shower, and raided Alice's closet. I settled on something sexy, but nothing over the top. It was just a frat party. I figured jeans, a fitted top and heals would suffice.

Jake was knocking on the door promptly at eight and I was actually excited to go out with him. I hadn't been to many parties since I'd gotten involved with Carlisle. I didn't feel like it was a good idea going to frat parties when I had a boyfriend waiting for me. I opened the door and I was taken aback. Jake was normally so simple. Jeans, a t-shirt and Chucks. Tonight, he had an open flannel, a leather jacket, jeans and Vans on. It was safe to say...he looked hot as hell.

"You look nice." He smiled as I pulled my jacket on.

"You do too." I laughed. He lead me downstairs and out the door. The party was at the Phi Gamma Delta house, not too far from my apartment. It was getting close to Thanksgiving, so New York had made the transition from fall to winter quickly. I did not regret wearing jeans.

"You okay?" He asked when he looked over and saw my teeth chattering.

"I get cold too easily." I laughed as we neared the house. He led me up the brick pathway and opened the door for me. Music was beating through the house and I could smell the alcohol from the doorway. Jake took my coat for me as I roamed into the kitchen where the keg was and grabbed to cups for Jake and I.

"Thanks." He smiled when I handed him the red cup. He chugged the beer and was already onto his second one by the time I'd drunk half of mine. "I think it's better to just chug it."

"I'm not really a beer kinda person."

"Me either." He laughed, chugging his second one. "That's why I chug it." I trusted Jake so I put the cup to my lips and quickly chugged the rest of the beer. It was gross, but it was better to just get it over with. Jake smiled at me, handing me my second one and I chugged that one as well. I was already starting to feel a buzz and we just got here.

"You wanna dance?" He asked as My First Kiss came on over the speaker. I grabbed each of us another cup and we made our way to where most of the people were dancing. I chugged that beer and he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him. Suddenly, I felt this heat and I couldn't tell if it was because of the beer, or Jake. But, I was here to have fun and I wasn't going to let this get to my head. I started dancing with him and once I started, I couldn't stop.

Once I was sure I couldn't handle any more beer, I made my way over to the shot glasses. I took three and I was gone. With those and the four beers I'd had, I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. This was the first time since senior year of high school that I could barely walk because of how drunk I really was. But, I was having fun and I didn't care.

Jake on the other hand, wasn't as drunk as me and cut me off when he thought I would be sick if I had anymore.

Just after Jake cut me off, Sexy Can I came on and suddenly, I was feeling a bit too friendly with Jake. We started dancing together again, just as before, but there was something different this time. At this point, I was sober enough to know I wanted it and I didn't care. I didn't want to be upset about Carlisle anymore. Not tonight. Jake seemed to be thinking the same thing and he lowered his head to my ears.

"You wanna get out of here?" He whispered in my ears, sending shivers down my spine.

"Yes," I nearly moaned back as he lowered his hands over my hips.


	2. Disappoint You

**Chapter Two: Disappoint You**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"Do I get the master bedroom again?" Edward asked as we neared Pittsburgh.

"No." I laughed. "There's enough room for your real piano."

"I've missed that piano." He sighed. "Maybe this move isn't all bad."

"Yeah, maybe." I mused. It hadn't been a full day and I was already miserable about leaving Bella. I hated what the Dean made was making us do, but it was what I had to keep her in school. She just needed to graduate and we'd be okay. We'd be allowed to be together again, as long as she stayed single. She had grown a lot since I'd met her and more and more boy were looking at her.

"She's going to be waiting for you, dad." Edward assured to me. "She's completely in love with you."

"What do you know about love?" I laughed. He was thirteen.

"Apparently more than you." He told me. "If it were me, I'd be fighting to keep her."

"Edward, I told you. I had to do this so she'd stay in school." I sighed. "She has to finish school."

"What about me?" He asked. "You cared more about her finishing school than you did for me."

I had been so involved with how I was going to keep Bella in school, I hadn't really thought about me pulling Edward out of school. I was a terrible parent, but I loved Bella. For a while, my mind was on her and only her.

"I've been pretty crappy, huh?" I asked as we pulled into the city.

"A little." He admitted. "I get why we left, but it would have been better if we didn't have to at all."

"You said it." I laughed. "We're going to be up in New York a lot. Grandma and Pap are still there and we're going to see them."

"I guess that works." He sighed, slumping back down into his seat. After another twenty minutes in the car, we pulled up to a house right outside the city and sat in the car for a while. I figured a house would be better for him when having friends but this was different for us. I hadn't lived in a house for almost five years, and him three.

Five years.

It had been five years since I caught Esme in bed with Jason. Five years since I'd asked for a divorce and moved out. Edward was barely eight back then and it was hard to believe he was an official teenager. Time really had flown these last two years. Never in my life did I imagine Edward bouncing back the way he had or how close he would be with Bella.

"What do you think?" I asked as we walked through the garage and into the kitchen.

"I think the grand piano is going to fit nicely." He laughed. "We have an upstairs?"

"And a basement." I laughed. It was good to be in a house again. I showed Edward upstairs and let him pick which bedroom her wanted for himself and which one we could turn into a guest room.

"Can I redo my room, please?" He begged as we got into the car after a long day of packing to find a pizza place. "Because, it's plain grey right now and that's way boring."

"What were you thinking?" I asked.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Just something with color."

"Yes we can redo it, but not right now." I told him. "Maybe we'll get to it next month. I just wanna get settled right now."

"Okay, but you promise?"

"Pinky promise." I laughed, holding out my pinky to him.

"Dad, I'm thirteen." He huffed. "Come on."

"Sorry, I forgot how big and bad you were."

"Dad!" He wined. I'd forgotten how tempermental teenagers were. We finally found a _Pizza Hut_ and turned in. It was nice to just have Edward to talk to at dinner. It had been such a long time since we'd spent one on one time together. But, even though we were both enjoying it, I could tell how much he missed having Bella around to talk to. And he wasn't the only one.

Once we finished eating, we headed home for more unpacking. Once we'd unpacked our matresses, we decided to just camp out in the living room until we got our bedroom sets unpacked. He fell asleep immediately, but my bed was too empty for me to feel comfortable. There were a lot of days when Bella would stay on campus with Alice and I'd be alone, but this was different. Her side of the bed would be cold for the next seven and a half months. At the most.

After I'd finally fallen asleep, Edward was shaking me to wake up. We unpacked for a little bit before trying to find somewhere to eat breakfast. After we'd found a _Bob Evans_, we headed back for another exciting day of unpacking. We were able to get a lot done by dinner and we even had our rooms put together.

"When do you start work?" He asked as we ate at a nearby _King's_.

"Monday." I sighed. I really hated the fact that I had to start a new job at a new school. "Just like you."

"Are you sure I can't do cyber school?" He asked. He really was axious about starting a new school. "I mean I've already started a new school once, why make me do it again?"

"Because your thirteen and need to make friends." I explained. "You have band everyday where you get to play the piano for the school and I talked to the coach and he's going to give you a fair shot in soccer."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'll make friends." He sighed. "It's different than when I changed schools when I was eleven. I was only in fifth grade."

"And you're only in seventh this time." I told him. "I know it's hard...believe me. Your grandparents dragged me all over the country for Pap's job. I was constantly forced to make new friends."

"You aren't making me feel better, dad."

"All I'm saying is, it was hard but I was able to do it." I told him. "I made a lot of friends at my new school until it was time to move again."

"Do you talk to any of them still?"

"Not much, but I do sometimes." I told him. "One of them was in your mothers and mines wedding."

"Which one?" He asked.

"I'll show you a picture when we get everything situated." I smiled. "But no you can't do cyber school. You're going to go to real school and be awkward and out of place on your first day. But, then you're going to meet that one nice student who's always nice to the new kids and he or she is going to ask if you wanna eat lunch with them. You're going to say yes and they're going to introduce you to their group of friends and if everything works out, you've got yourself a place to sit everyday."

"That's how it worked for you?"

"Every single time." I assured him, and I could see him relax a bit after hearing that. It was true. There was always that one person, normally a girl, who asked if you wanted to sit with them. I was so happy every time I met that girl when changing schools.

* * *

"You have everything you need?" I asked Monday morning as Edward and I sat at the kitchen table, eating toast.

"Yep." He sighed. He was getting jittery again and he was only nibbling at his toast.

"It's going to be fine, Edward." I smiled. "Trust me."

"I do, but that doesn't mean what you told me is going to happen will."

"You can't be negative." I warned. "Just put on a good face and don't get in anyones way. Let things fall into place."

"Easier said than done." He mumbled as I reached in my pocket and gave me a crisp twenty. "What's this for?"

"To put in your lunch account." I explained. "You don't have to pay for lunch day by day here."

"That's nice." He smiled. He finished eating and went to brush his teeth. I watched and made sure he made it on his bus on time before getting in my car and heading into the city. At least NYU was in a major city, or I'd be totally lost in Pittsburgh. I found my building and made my way to the head of the departments office. She showed me to my classroom and office and left me to it.

The professor before me had gotten fired for showing up to class drunk, and from what I heard was a complete ass. I wasn't too uneasy of the class not liking me as they began filing in. Once the room was full, I took a deep breath and went inside.

"Good morning." I greeted as happy as I could. "I am Dr. Cullen and I'm going to be replacing Professor Harris."

"Thank god." I head a student mumble. I warmed up to them instantly. The day went on just as any first day of school and I was pleasantly surprised by the classes reactions to having a new teacher.

But, there was one down side. When my Intro to Psychology filed in, I couldn't help the knot in my stomach from forming when I saw the student who sat down in the front row. It was the same seat Bella always sat in and to make matters worse, she had long brown hair and brown eyes to add insult to injury. I was somehow able to make it through the class without having a break down and was able to not throw up after they left.

"Knock knock." A womans voice rang from my office door. "Hi,"

"Hello." I greeted. I looked up and my breath caught. This woman had beautiful carmel hair with big brown eyes. She truly was breathtaking. And my age. I hadn't felt this way about a girl since I saw Bella for the first time. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I'm Dr. Masen." She introduced. "I'm right across the hall from you."

"That's good to know." I laughed. "I'm Dr. Cullen."

"I know," She blushed. "Everyone is taking about the guy who replaced that scum of a professor."

"I'm the big news?"

"Everything is big news when it comes to Professor Hill." She laughed.

"So, what do you teach exactly, Dr. Masen?"

"Developmental psychology." She smiled. "And please, call me Lizzie."

"Alright...Lizzie." I smiled.

"What about you?" She asked.

"Don't you already know since I took his place?"

"I never paid attention to him." She shrugged.

"Community psychology." I laughed. "How long have you been here at Pitt?"

"This is only my fifth year." She explained. "I was working on my doctorate forever. And until I was here, I was bouncing from place to place finding work while writing my dissertation."

"Sounds about right." I laughed.

"How long were you at NYU?" She asked and I gave her a questioning look. "I told you, you're the big news."

"I was at NYU for about ten years." I told her. "I was there before I got my doctorate as just Professor Cullen." I laughed.

"Is this your son?" She asked, pointing to Edward's sixth grade school photo on the bookshelf she was standing next to.

"Yeah, he just turned thirteen in August." I smiled.

"Good luck." She laughed. "Thirteen is a rough age."

"He's mature for his age." I smiled as I saw her look down at my left hand, looking for a wedding band. I quickly shoved my hands in my pockets. I wasn't in the mood to answer questions or get looks of pity.

"I didn't mean to pry." She whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." I shook my head. "It's a long story." I sighed as I looked at her left hand. There was a small white spot where a ring prevented the sun from tanning and I assumed she was recently divorced.

"Mine too." She smiled, putting her hands behind her back.

"Well, I should be going." I sighed, closing my laptop case. "My son is going to be home from practice any minute now and he's going to need to eat something."

"Right." She blushed. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes you will." I laughed as she went back into her office and I headed towards the elevators.

* * *

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since leaving New York and Edward and I were gradually falling into a routine. Like I'd predicted, he'd made a good group of friends almost immediately after starting school. A pretty girl Tanya was the one who invited him to sit with her table and he'd quickly grown to like them. He was even starting to form a tight friendship with Garrett, a boy on the soccer team.

I was also starting to develop friends with my co-workers, especially Lizzie. She told me that the 'scum of a professor' who had my possition before was her husband. He'd gambled almost all of their money away and walked away with an huge bill for Lizzie to pay. She listened while I told her the tragic story of what happened with Esme, from the cheating to the funeral.

I hadn't told anyone about Esme cheating since Bella.

I was cleaning up around the house that Saturday when my phone began buzzing. I answered it excitedly when I saw Emmett's Caller ID pop up. It had been two weeks since I'd talked to him.

"Hey, Emmett." I answered.

"Did anyone else have access to those photo's?" He asked, his voice urgent.

"What photo's?" I asked, not understanding at all what he was talking about.

"The pictures of you and Bella!"

"I think Dean Gregory was the only one who had them." I sighed. "Him and whoever turned us in."

"Well, they're all over campus!" He screeched, completely panicked.

"What do you mean, all over campus?"

"I mean someone taped them all over the campus." He sighed. "On benches and street lights, and the sides of buildings. Everywhere."

"Damn," I sighed. I was hoping that when I resigned, my reputation would remain in tact, and same with Bella's. "Shit, Emmett!"

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"There isn't anything I can do." I sighed, slumping down on the couch. "I'm in Pittsburgh, I can't do anything about it."

"You know this is going to make things really bad for Bella, right?"

"Yep." I sighed. There was so much that could go wrong with those pictures up and around campus. "But I can't protect her anymore, Emmett. Not until she graduates at least."

"I told you to stay away!" He yelled. He hadn't exactly expressed how angry he was when I left, and it was finally coming out now. I just sat back on the couch, preparing for my lecture.I deserved it anyway. "I told you it was a bad idea to get involved with a student! But you didn't listen! And now your in Pittsburgh and she's going to get...get a horrible reputation as a slut and she's going to be told you were sleeping together for her grade! Damnit, Carlisle!"

"Emmett,"

"And now you can't even do anything to help her because you fucking left!"

"I had to!"

"You broke her heart, Carlisle." He whispered, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. "You broke her!"

"I didn't have a choice!" I defended. "It was stay together and get both of us kicked out of NYU! I had to make sure she stayed in school and graduated!"

"You still broke her heart." He mumbled. "You didn't even warn her this was happening!"

"I didn't want her to worry."

"Yeah, well now she was left with a half asked goodbye." He said.

"Why do you care so much, Emmett?" I asked. "Ever since I got together with Bella she's been the devil girl who was going to get me fired. And she is technically the reason I had to leave."

"Because through this last year of you two coming over with Rosalie and I... I started to actually care about her." He sighed. "You loved her and I saw that and if you loved her so did I. Because you're my best friends and that's what best friends do. They care about the people they shouldn't."

"Emmett..."

"I gotta go." he sighed and hung up without even a goodbye. I tried to finish cleaning up the house, but I couldn't bring myself to focus. Edward was with the soccer team for the weekend, camping and I didn't have anyone to talk to or spend time with. I hopped in the shower and got dressed before heading out to a local bar.

"One beer, please." I sighed as I sat down on a bar stool. The bartender nodded as another put a bowel of peanuts in front of me.

"Well, well, well." I heard a familiar voice laugh. "Look who we have here."

"Hi, Lizzie." I smiled as she sat down next to me. I turned to look at her and nearly choked on the peanuts I was chewing. She was wearing a low cut shirt and a very short skirt. "Wow," I sighed like an idiot.

"What, I've gotta get back in the game somehow, right?" She laughed, ordering herself two shots. The bartender put them down in front of her and she slid one in front of me.

"I'm not really a shot kinda person." I sighed as I took a sip of beer.

"Come on." She nudged. "To new beginnings?" She questioned, holding up her shot glass as to make a toast. I gave in and picked mine up, clinking our glasses and tipping it to my lips.

"To new beginnings." I agreed, smiling at her.


	3. Why Weren't We Able?

**Chapter Three: Why Weren't We Able?**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"My place is closer." Jacob gasped as he came up for air. I nodded and his lips crashed into mine again, and began lowering his hands to grab my ass. I moaned into his mouth as he gave it a tight squeeze and a loud whimper when he he came up for air again and just stayed up. He grabbed my hand and led me to the apartment complex near the frat house.

He lived on the second floor and if it weren't for the security cameras in the elevator, I would have dropped his pants in there. Once we heard the ding, his lips were on mine again and he began pushing me in the direction of his apartment. Once we reached his doors, he grabbed his keys out of his pocket and tried unlocking the door, which seemed to be difficult to do with me nibbling on his ear.

"Finally," He mumbled as he opened the door. He turned to me again and crashed his lips onto mine as he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and began slowly grinding, creating the friction we both wanted so badly. I could feel him hardening underneath me and felt this odd sense of pride. I wasn't some master in the bedroom, and Carlisle was the only guy I really turned on.

He carried me to his small bedroom and threw me down on the bed as he kicked the door shut. He shed his overcoat onto the floor as I did the same and the crawled up on top of me. I pushed his flannel off his shoulders as he pulled at the hem of my shirt. I lifted my arms and arched my back so he'd be able to pull it over my head.

"Damn," He whispered as he saw me without my shirt on, and I blushed as he looked me over thoroughly. "Now I know what I've really been missing." He whispered as he moved his lips to my neck and began sucking and kissing until he was at the top of my breasts. He reached around and unclasped my bra, and pulled it over my shoulder.

He smiled when I was fully exposed and moved his lips to suck on my nipple while his other hand came and massaged my other breast. I began to feel myself getting more and more turned on as he swiped his tongue over my nipple and pinched the other with his hand. I moved my hands to his hair and began to gently pull at it, unable to sit still anymore.

"Fuck," I whispered as he switched breasts and began sucking on the other one. Once I thought I was going to explode just from that, I pulled him back up to my lips as I pulled his t-shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor. He began grinding on me and I could feel him through my jeans and his own. His hands moved down my stomach and popped open the button on my jeans and began slowly pulling them down my legs. He stepped back so he could pull them off, but didn't miss a beat and his lips were back on my body within nanoseconds.

I finally pulled myself together enough to undo his belt and snap open his jeans and used my feet to push them down his body. The only thing keeping us apart were the thin layers of fabric that were our underwear. He smiled deviously at me as he pulled my thong down and threw it onto the ground, leaving me completely exposed.

"Damn," He whispered again as I pushed his boxers down, leaving us both naked.

"Please tell me you have a condom." I begged as we ground on each other.

"Condom, yeah." He mumbled as he pushed himself on his knees and reached under the bed, finding the box of Trojan's underneath. He pulled out a single foil packet and tore it open, and covered his cock with the latex barrier. I knew I was on birth control, but I didn't know exactly where Jake had been. I wasn't risking anything. Even though Carlisle and I never used a condom, even for our first time.

Once he was covered, he positioned myself at my enterence. I winced a little when I saw how big he really was. Carlisle was in no way small, Jake was just really big in my eyes. He eased himself inside and let me adjust to him. Once the sting wore off, I gave him a nod and began slowly pumping in and out of me. I grabbed a fistful of his hair again as he began moving faster.

"Fuck," I moaned as he pounded me into the bed. I wrapped my legs around his waist, creating a better angle for both of us and I could tell he was close by the thin layer of sweat that began coating his body.

"Fuck, Bella!" He moaned as he began pumping faster and faster and brought his hand to my clit, pushing my over the edge.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I came. He didn't take much longer and he fell limp on top of my. I felt him pull out and kiss my chest as he sat up.

"Damn," He breathed as he tied the condom up, throwing it in the trash. He gave me a few tissues to clean myself up and fell back into bed again, pulling the covers over us. He pulled me into his side and kissed the back of my neck, and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He wasn't Carlisle.

But, Carlisle wasn't here and Jake was. I had to accept the fact that for the time being, Carlisle wasn't mine and I didn't have to feel guilty about doing things with other guys. I shut my eyes in somewhat bliss, ready to spend the night with Jake.

"If you get too cold, my robe is right on the floor on your side of the bed." He whispered as he grabbed me tighter.

"Okay," I yawned.

I woke up the next morning, feeling a mixture of bliss, confusion, and guilt. Jake had always just been there. As my friend and partner in most of our projects. I'd never looked at him as anything more. Until Carlisle and I broke up. But, even before Carlisle Jacob had always been just...Jacob. I realized the fuzzy robe that had been draped over my body and realized Jake wasn't next to me.

I grabbed my panties off the floor and tightened the robe around my waist before going out into the common area. When I opened the door, all three of Jake's roommates eyes were on me. One was smiling dumbly at me and the other two just looked almost...happy. Like they knew who I was and how much Jake liked me.

"Morning," the bigger of the two greeted. "Jakes in the bathroom."

"Thanks," I smiled, wishing Jake would just finish up.

"You want some coffee?" The youngest ask as he sprang up over to the cupboards.

"Oh, sure." I smiled. He pulled out an oversized mugs and poured me a cup. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He said. "You can sit. We don't bite...well Paul might but you just just slap him. That's what most girls do."

"Oh, okay." I sighed as I pulled out a chair and sat down with my coffee.

"I'm Seth." The youngest introduced. "I'm only a sophomore, but my parents didn't get me a dorm fast enough."

"No, he didn't send in the application, but somehow his parents took the fall for it." The other one laughed. "I'm Embry."

"Do you guys all know each other?" I asked because they all had the same dark skin tone with shiny black hair.

"We grew up on the same reservation." Embry explained. "That's why we let a fucking sophomore live with us. He makes five."

"It's only a four person apartment?"

"Exactly, which is why we have a pull out couch and a dresser in the common area." Jake laughed as he came out of the bathroom, wearing only boxers and a NYU hoodie.

"Oh," I laughed.

"Do you want anything to ear?" Paul asked as he stood up. "It's my turn to go to the bakery down the street."

"Oh, any kind of muffin works." I blushed. It was weird being around a guy and his friends who were actually my own age.

"Okay," He sighed, grabbing his coat and keys and leaving. Jake sat down next to me and Seth and Embry took this as their hint to leave. We watched as they went into a bedroom and Jake turned and gave me a peck on the lips.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked as he grabbed my hands. He was already starting to get affectionate and I wasn't sure I was ready yet. More than friends, maybe. Something more? Not so much.

"Pretty good." I smiled, squeezing his hand. "Jake,"

"I know, you aren't ready yet." He laughed. "I get it. You just ended things with him."

"I don't want you to think,"

"That you were using me?" He finished. "I don't. I understand. Sometimes you need a good fuck to help start getting over someone. We can take things slow, _if_ there is anything to take slow."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Hey, I understand." He said, gripping my chin and making me look up. "Don't feel guilty."

"OKay," I smiled as he leaned in and gave me another kiss. "I should be going."

"At least stay for your muffin or Paul's going to have a hissy fit."

"Deal," I laughed. Paul came back shortly after with another tanned skinned college guy who Jake introduced me to be Quil. We sat around the table and just talked and there wasn't any awkwardness. After I ate, I changed into a t-shirt Jake game me and slid back into my heels, cursing my choice to wear them in the first place.

I made my way back to my apartment and almost felt sick when I saw Jasper's truck in the lot. I didn't think they were going to be home yet. But, I was hopeful they were still sleeping and made my way upstairs. I unlocked the door and shut it softly and turned to see the two of them sitting on the couch.

"Hello," Alice called, sounding chipper and cheery.

"Damn," I mumbled. "Hi," I grumbled, the hangover was starting to kick in.

"Advil or Tylenol?" She asked, standing up and going to the bathroom.

"Advil." I called, sitting in the chair adjacent to Jasper who only raised his eyebrows at me.

"I thought you were going to be gone until this afternoon." I sighed as Alice came back and gave me a glass of water along with the tablets.

"We decided to come back early." She said, sitting back down. "where have you been?"

"No where."

"What boy?" Jasper asked, and I only glared at him. "What? You're wearing heals, nice jeans, and it looks like and over sized t-shirt under your coat. You were with a boy last night."

"Thanks, detective." I snapped. I didn't want to deal with this yet. "I was with Jake."

"Wait, Jake?" Alice asked and I could only nod. "So you were with Jake?"

"Yes." I sighed. "I was with him."

"Well that didn't take long."

"I'm not over him, Alice." I assured her. "We went to a frat party and got drunk and I...I just wanted to forget about the breakup for one night."

"You don't have to defend yourself, Bella." Jasper told me. "You just needed your night."

"Yes, and nothing is going to happen between Jacob and I because Carlisle and I are getting back together."

"You hope." Alice mumbled.

"What?"

"You hope you and Carlisle are getting back together." She sighed. "There is no guarantee."

"Carlisle loves me, Alice." I huffed. "He's coming back. Your the one who said we had an epic love."

"You do, but things can change, Bella."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt again!" She spat. "I've already seen you broken hearted over this guy twice. I don't want that for you again."

"Well thank you for being concerned, but he's coming back, Alice." I sighed as I stood up. "He has to."

"Bella,"

"You're either supportive or not, Alice!" I told her. "You don't get to encourage me to start something and then tell me it won't end up working out. You can't have it both ways." I told her before retreating to my room for the rest of the day to get my schoolwork done and try to nurse the hangover. Only Jasper came in to tell me Alice was spending the night with him.

* * *

The next day was pure hell. I was getting dirty looks from all the girls, and smug looks from all the guys. I soon realized I was the slut who slept with the professor for a grade. I tried holding my head high, but it was difficult when all eyes were on me when I was in class and the library and at lunch.

"Thanks a lot!" Jessica, a girl who I had Carlisle's class with sophomore year, spat as I got coffee. "The only reason I switched majors was because of Dr. Cullen! And you couldn't keep it to yourself and now he's gone!"

"This isn't my fault, Jessica." I sighed.

"Oh yeah, then who's face is this?" She asked, slamming one of the pictures down. My stomach turned to knots when I saw the pictures of Carlisle and I holding hands under a desk at the library. Not one of our best ideas. "Thanks a lot."

"Jessica..."

"Fucking whore." She mumbled as she walked away. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping the tears wouldn't come. But, I was powerless against my emotions and I ended up bawling in the middle of the coffee place. I grabbed my things and bolted out of there, only to run into someone in my hurry.

"Whoa." Jake's comforting voice laughed as he bent down to help me pick my things up. "Hey, you okay?"

"Fine," I lied, wiping my face. But, he knew me better and dragged me over to a bench and let me use his shoulder as my personal tissue.

"You're a bad liar." He whispered as he kissed the top of my head. "What happened?"

"Nothing, I just keep getting dirty looks from people." I told him. "And a girl just called me a whore, but I'm fine. Really."

"Who called you a whore?" He demanded to know, his face growing red.

"It's no big deal." I sniffled, checking my watch. "I have a class."

"Bella,"

"I have to go, Jake." I huffed, stuffing the rest of my things in my bag. "I'll see you later."

"Okay," He sighed as I ran off towards my Stats class. Like the rest of my classes, everyone kept giving me dirty looks and it didn't help that Jessica's best friend, Lauren, was in that class with me. I had never been so happy to be let go from a class and I was the first one out of the class, and bolted towards the bathroom. I didn't wanna deal with another big crowd.

After a few minutes of hiding, I felt it was clear of many people and made my way out and towards the staircase. But as I was nearing it, my Stats professor came out of the classroom.

"Ah, Miss Swan." He smiled at me. "What are you still doing here?"

"I had to use the restroom." I told him as I tried to push past him, but he wouldn't let me. He stepped in front of me and began gazing into my eyes, giving me the creeps. "I have to go now,"

"Hold on, Miss Swan." He said, grabbing my wrist, ensuring I wouldn't be going anywhere. "May I have a word with you?"

"Professor Michaelson,"

"It'll only be a moment." He said, dragging me into his class room. Once the door was shut, he slammed me against the door and pushed the hair out my face. I could see in his eyes he didn't just want to talk and by the way he was stroking my side, I knew I had to get out of their.

"Professor," I sighed as I tried pushing him away. But, he was stronger than I was and was on a mission. I wasn't going anywhere.

"Shhhhh," He whispered. "This will only be a moment." He said as he grabbed my breasts with his filthy hands.

"No!" I yelled before his hand came up and covered my mouth.

"This can painless, or painful." He whispered darkly. "You choose." He whispered as his lips went to my neck. I struggled against him and when I was sure there was nothing left I could try, I lifted my knees and kicked him right in his balls. He fell to the ground in pain and I was able to grab my bag and make a run for it out of the building.

As I was pushing the big glass doors out of the building open, someone was coming up the steps.

"Bella?" Emmett's voice asked as he caught me in his arms, not letting me go anywhere. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"I'm the school whore!" I choked out in between sobs. He took me over to sit on the nearby wall and gave me a tissue, even though it didn't help much. "Guys keep lifting up my shirt and asking if I only do older guys. Girls are calling me a whore and my professor just tried to get into my pants."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter!" I told him. "I'm the whore and I don't even have Carlisle anymore." I cried as his phone rang.

"Hello." He answered as I sobbed. "Yeah... I'm with her right now... You gotta talk to her... Okay..." He sighed, handing me the phone. "For you."

"Me?" I asked.

"Just, trust me." He sighed as I took the phone and put it to my ear.

"Bella," His voice whispered, making my heart lurch for him. "You gotta look past it. Be strong."

"Carlisle,"

"Fight back if anyone tries to touch you." He cried. "You...gotta hold your head up high and don't let them get to you. It's only words."

"Carlisle a professor just tried to..."

"I have to go." He cried. "We can't talk, Bella."

"But, Carlisle..."

"I love you." He cried. "Bye." He said and hung up.

"No, Carlisle!" I shouted, but it was too late. He was gone and he didn't even know what just happened. "He hung up before I could tell him..."

"He wasn't supposed to talk to you at all..."

"I was raped in high school!" I cried, catching him off guard. "Carlisle was the only person here who knew and he didn't even give me a chance to tell him what almost happened."

"I'll make sure he knows." Emmett offered. "I'd rather not be...but I could be the middle man."

"No, I don't want to get you into trouble."

"I can't stand to see him hurting like this." He shrugged. "It's fine."

After I gathered myself up enough, I was able to go home. Alice apologized and cried with me as I told her what happened. She stayed with me until I fell asleep and made sure I got to class the nest day and the day after that. I skipped my Stats class Wednesday and hid out in the library for the time I wasn't in class. But, Alice was with Jasper and I had to make my way across campus alone.

I was nearly home when I saw a dark figure standing in front of me. Just wanting to get home, I quickened my pace, hoping to just got by the person. But, I wasn't quick enough and the man grabbed my and covered my mouth from behind so I wouldn't scream.

"We're going to pick up from where we left off." Professor Michaelson whispered darkly in my ear as he pushed me along. He was pushing me towards the woods, the long way to the Math Department. No one would hear me even if I tried screaming for help.


	4. When You Were Young

**Chapter Four: When You Were Young**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"Thanks for this, Lizzie." I said as we stood outside of the bar after they'd kicked us out. I had managed to stay sober, her not so much. "It helped a lot."

"Anytime Carlisle." She laughed as she tripped over her feet, and I was just able to catch her. "Whoa."

"You going to be okay to get home?" I asked as I set her up straight.

"I took a cab here." She slurred as she stepped close to me. She straightened up and then looked right into my eyes with those beautiful eyes. I wasn't ready for this, and I was sure she wasn't either. But, ready or not she was here and Bella wasn't. We were broken up and I was allowed to have a night where I could do whatever I wanted and then begin nursing my broken heart.

She was at college with hundreds of options, why couldn't Lizzie be mine?

But, regardless, she was drunk and I'd be taking advantage of her and that wasn't right. Especially since I was sober. She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine and I gave into her...until she reached around my front and grabbed my semi-hard member in her hands. I broke the kiss and pushed her back.

"Lizzie, you're drunk."

"Yep."

"I can't." I shook my head. "Not like this. I can't take advantage of you."

"Carlisle I'm drunk, not shit faced." She laughed. "I'm one hundred percent aware of what's going around. Plus you can't take advantage of me if I'm giving it to you."

"Not tonight." I denied. "I'm sorry, but I don't know when Edward's going to be back. If he caught us...bad things would happen."

"Right, you have a son." She sighed, looking disappointed. "Can I at least take a raincheck?" She asked and as I looked her up and down again, I realized how attracked I was to her. There was just something about her that I was drawn to and I wasn't going to turn her away. I didn't want to turn her away. I didn't want to be pining for Bella, especially since there wasn't a one hundred percent chance we'd be getting back together.

"Yeah, and raincheck is good." I smiled as I hailed her a cab. "Call me when you get home, okay?"

"Sure thing." She smiled as she rolled the window up. I found my car and got inside, just sitting there for a while before putting the key in the ignition and pulling out of the lot.

But, as I drove I realized I didn't want to go home yet. I didn't want to go sit in an empty house and pine for Bella again. I missed her, but I didn't want to be the person who shut down after a break up. I'd nearly done that with Esme, and it wasn't healthy for me. I made a U turn and headed in the direction of where Lizzie lived. Once I found the street, I sat in her driveway for a few minutes before going up the walkway.

"Carlisle, what..." She began asking as I crashed my lips into hers. She stood there for a few seconds before giving in and slamming the front door shut. She pushed my coat off my shoulders and I began unbuttoning her PJ top. She moaned into my mouth as our tongues twisted together, and began playing with the hem of my sweater, pulling it up and I broke our kiss and raised my arms so she could get it off of me.

Her eyes bugged out of her head when she saw my built form and then smiled as she leaned in and kissed me again. I pushed her top off of her body and hesitated as I went down and began kissing her neck. But, this night was forgetting about hurting and trying to get past what I left in New York. So, I attacked Lizzie's neck, causing her to moan loudly.

I moved my lips lower and lower until they were kissing the tops of her breasts as I gently massaged them with my hands. She reached behind her and unclasped her bra, sliding it off her shoulders. I smiled when I saw her completely bare before attaching her breasts with my mouth again. As I sucked and tweaked at her nipples, she began undoing my belt and then unsnapping my jeans.

She pushed my pants along with my boxers down to my ankles, and I pushed myself only my knees to throw them on the floor. I pulled down Lizzie's PJ bottoms and went right back to kissing everywhere on her body. She began grinding on me, causing me to harden even more. When we were both in a frenzy, I positioned myself at her enterance, taking a deep breath before entering her.

We both moaned loudly as I pushed myself completely inside, and I stilled letting her adjust to me. She smiled up at me for a few seconds, letting me know she was okay. I began thrusting shallowly in and out until we both needed more. My pace quickened as a thin layer of sweat formed on my forehead. I knew she was getting close by the way she was gripping the bed, so I brought my free hand to her clit, gently working her nerves.

"Fuck!" She yelled as she came. I wasn't far behind her and I was soon stilling inside of her. I felt limp on top of her, unable to catch my breath. I immediately felt guilty for what I'd just done. I'd just used her to try and forget Bella, and it didn't work. I still only wanted to be with Bella.

But, wether I liked it or not, Lizzie was here and Bella wasn't. I had to get used to it.

I pulled out of her and she handed me some tissues to clean up, and then snuggled into my side. I wrapped my arms around her and she yawned and closed her eyes, soon falling asleep. I laid awake for most of the night like usual, and only fell asleep when she had turned her back towards me at four in the morning.

A harsh ringing sound woke me up too soon that morning and once I realized it was my phone, I stumbled out of bet and found my jeans on the floor. I reached in the pocket and retrieved my phone, sliding it open to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice deep with sleep still. I looked over and saw that Lizzie had been woken up by my phone and was pushed up on her elbows, blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

"Dad?" Edward's voice asked and I quickly looked at the clock. Eleven-thirty. "Where are you?"

"Shit," I whispered, trying to pull my pants up while holding my phone. "I'll be home soon, bud. You have your keys?"

"Yeah, but where are you?" He asked. I didn't want to tell him I was with another girl because I didn't want him to think I was over Bella. That would kill him.

"I fell asleep on a friends couch, Edward." I lied. I hated lying to him. "We were drinking last night." At least that part was true.

"Okay." He sighed, sounding like he didn't believe me. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll bring us lunch." I told him as I hung up. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head as Lizzie pulled on her robe. "I gotta go. Sorry."

"It's okay." she laughed. "I understand."

"I had a really good time last night." I smiled as I grabbed my coat.

"Me too." She smiled, grabbing my jacket and pulling me into a kiss. I didn't want her to think I was using her, but I wasn't ready for whatever she wanted to start. I just decided to go along with it for now and we'd talk about it later. At a better time. If there even was a better time.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I told her as she opened the front door. She nodded as I headed out to my car. I drove quickly to get to my house and found Edward sitting at his piano in the den, playing something new he'd learned. I listened as he finished and clapped when he stopped, making him jump.

I didn't mean to scare you." I laughed as I sat down next to him. "What was that?"

"Nothing." He sighed, grabbing the sheet music and putting it into his folder. But, he wasn't quick enough and I saw Skinny Love written on the top. "Where were you really, dad?"

"I told you..."

"I get my lying skill from you." He told me. "You're a bad liar and I know when your lying."

"I really was with a friend."

"_With_ a friend?" He asked and I knew he understood without me saying anything. I only nodded and he stood up and began pacing. "So you're already over Bella?"

"Edward, no." I sighed.

"Really, dad?" He asked, sounding angry. "You just had sex with another woman because you're still in love with Bella?"

"Hey, Bella and I broken up, Edward." I spat. "For the time being, I am single and can do whatever I want."

"Yeah and I guess you can do _whoever_ you want too then, huh?"

"Hey!" I yelled. "I get your upset but I'm still your dad and you do not have the right to talk to me like that, got it?"

"I can't believe you!" He yelled as he ran upstairs and slammed his door shut.

* * *

The next morning, Edward ignored me from the minute he woke up to the minute he got on the bus. I braced myself for the awkward encounter that bound to happen when Lizzie and I saw each other. I wasn't sure what the code of conduct was for this situation. I wasn't sure if she wanted a one night stand or more than friends.

Thankfully, she wasn't in her office or classroom when I got there and I was able to just sneak into mine without having to see her. I'd made it through the entire without running into her. Until she came knocking on my door as I was about to leave.

"Hey," She smiled sadly. "You gotta sec?"

"Sure, come on in." I said, stepping aside to let her inside. I closed the door and had an odd sense of deja-vu, going back to when Bella would visit me in my office. There were so many memories in my office back in New York, and I hated saying goodbye to it. That was the office where everything started with Bella, starting something with Lizzie in this office seemed wrong.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked as she turned around.

"Yeah, go for it."

"Who is she?" She asked, making my breath catch. I hadn't told her about Bella because I didn't want her to think I was some middle aged creep who had an affair with a student.

"What are you talking about?"

"The girl who kept you awake Saturday night." SHe laughed. "The girl who stopped you at first but then you realized you didn't want to be sad about her so you changed your mind and came over."

"Lizzie,"

"It's okay, Carlisle. I get it." She shrugged. "You just needed an outlet. I did too. I'm not ready for anything serious, and I'm not asking for a marriage proposal. My scum of an ex-husband made sure I wouldn't be ready for anything anytime soon."

"Bella," I smiled, trying to hold back tears saying her name. I hadn't said it in so long. "Her name was Bella."

"Pretty."

"She was." I agreed. "And she was a student. That's why I left. She needed to stay at NYU and she wouldn't be able if I stayed. I made a deal with the dean saying we wouldn't speak or see each other until she graduated. That's how she was able to stay there. Because I left."

"Wow and I thought I had a lot of baggae." She laughed. "I can tell it was real, Carlisle. It wasn't just some sleezy affair."

"It was so much more than that." I cried. "She was everything to me." I told her as my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out and read the text message Emmett had sent me and excused myself to my classroom to call him like he'd asked.

"Hello." He answered.

"Emmett, what's up?" I asked since his text told me something was up and it wasn't going to be easy for me. "Are you with...are you with Bella?"

"Yeah... I'm with her right now..."

"Why?" I asked. He wasn't one to just be with Bella alone. He wasn't a professor who saw much of students outside the classroom. "Is everything okay?" I asked even though I knew it wasn't. I knew what the kids would be saying about Bella, and I couldn't let her hurt over this.

"You gotta talk to her..."

"Emmett, you know I can't." I argued. But then, the dean would never know if I just said something to her to make her know it would be okay. Even just to hear her voice would get us both through what was happening. "Put her on."

"Okay," He sighed. I heard the phone being passed over to her, and I heard her breathing loudly into the phone.

"Bella,"I whispered, trying to make myself not cry. I couldn't cry. I had to be strong for her. And myself. "You gotta look past it. Be strong."

"Carlisle," She sniffled, sounding like she was in a lot of pain

"Fight back if anyone tries to touch you." I cried as the first tear streamed down my cheek. "You...gotta hold your head up high and don't let them get to you. It's only words."

"Carlisle a professor just tried to..." She said louder, as if trying to get my attention

"I have to go." I cried. I didn't want this to end, but if we got caught it was all for nothing. It couldn't be all for nother. "We can't talk, Bella."

"But, Carlisle..."

"I love you." I nearly sobbed. I was starting to get hysterical just by the sound of her voice. "Bye."

"No, Carlisle!" I heard her yell as I pressed _END_ and slumped into a desk, holding my hands to my face. I loved her so much it hurt and I couldn't be there to protect her. I couldn't be there to defend us and what we had. I hated myself for being away and for what I did with Lizzie the other night. I hated what I'd made my son do and I hated doing what I had to do.

"She's going to be okay." Lizzie whispered as she sat down next to me, handing me a tissue. I took it from her and blotted my face, but my cheeks were red and my eyes were puffy. It was obvious I'd been crying. "You can't give up."

"I'm not giving up."

"Really?" She asked. "Because it looks like your giving up and giving in to this...evil dean that tore you two up."

"What are you saying, Lizzie?"

"I'm saying that this is what the dean wanted." She told me. "He wanted you to feel crumby and hate yourself. Don't give into it."

"The dean won, Lizzie." I sighed. "The dean won the minute he called me into his office."

* * *

The next morning, Edward was talking to me more, although he still seemed like he hated me. But I couldn't blame him. I hated me too.

"Dad, your phone's been ringing." He said as he shoved my phone into my face before leaving to get on the bus. I looked at my missed calls and saw I had twenty of them, all from Emmett. I dialed his number as I headed back upstairs to grab my keys and wallet.

"Emmett, what's up?" I asked, trying not to get into what happened yesterday with talking to Bella.

"Bella was trying to tell you something before you hung up on her." He accused, sounding angry at me yet again. "You know that, right?"

"Yes, but it was bad enough talking to her for those thirty seconds, Emmett."

"Yeah, well another thirty more wouldn't have made a difference." He spat.

"Do you know what she was trying to tell me?" I asked as I put my wallet into my pocket and grabbed my coffee mug.

"Professor Michaelson tried to rape Bella last night." He told me and stopped dead in my tracks, dropping my mug on the ground. I couldn't even wrap my head around the words that had just come out of his mouth. Bella. My Bella was almost raped again. That's why she had been so upset and I hadn't even thought about what had really happened when I hung up the phone.

"He...he what?" I asked as tears formed in my eyes. "When?"

"Right before you called." He whispered. "She was just getting out of her stats class and he dragged her back into his classroom and tried getting in her pants."

"How'd she get away?"

"She kicked him in the balls." He laughed. Professor Michaelson was the most hated professor on campus. From falculty to students alike.

"I abandoned her." I cried. "I left and now she's going through this. This is all my fault."

"You did what you thought was best." He sighed. "No one could have predicted this would happen if you left."

"She was raped in high school." I cried, reliving the memory of her telling me what happened that night. "She told me this and I wasn't there to prevent it again."

"Even if you were here you couldn't have stopped him."

"But he thought she liked having sex with professors." I spat. "If I hadn't of started it in the first place, she wouldn't be shaking in fear right now!"

"Carlisle!" He yelled. "This would have happened with or without you!"

"But..."

"Don't you dare blame this on you!" He told me. "Bella's already doing that, I don't need you doing the same."

"I left her, Emmett." I cried. "It's my fault."


	5. Walked This Floor

**Chapter Five: Walked This Floor**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Professor Michaelson asked as he pulled out of me. "Thanks, dear." He smiled at me as he pulled his pants up and left the room. I laid there, feeling dirty and scarred. I tried getting myself together, but I was shaking so badly I couldn't even move. I heard footsteps coming closer and began having a panic attack as I saw the feet on the floor.

"No!" I shouted as I turned away. "Please, no!"

"Bella?" Professor McCarty's voice asked as he covered me with a cloth. "Oh, god." He whispered as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. I saw his mouth moving, but the world had gone dark. There was no light. No sound and suddenly, I felt myself slipping.

_"I Bella, take thee Carlisle to be my loftly wedded husband. To have and to hold. To love and to comfort. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. As long as we both shall live." I cried as I stood in front of Carlisle in a big white dress, right on the beach. He smiled at me, and I brought my hand up to wipe away the tear he'd shed._

_"Carlisle and Bella have promised to love each other for always." Pastor Webbed exclaimed. "I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss your bride." He smiled as Carlisle cupped my face and brought my lips to his, giving me a gentle kiss. Our first kiss as husband and wife. Edward cheered from beside Carlisle as Best Man as Alice cried beside me as my Matron of Honor._

_Carlisle and I broke apart and turned to face the people who'd come and shared this with us. My mother was crying and my dad was trying to hold it in. We took our first steps as a married couple and walked down the aisle. Carlisle pulled me into hotels lobby, and into a small closet they had near the bathrooms._

_"What are you doing?" I laughed as he shut the door. "Alice is going to kill us if..." I started saying before he cut me off with his lips. I melted into his arms as he grasped my hips tightly._

_"Hello Mrs. Cullen." He whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. Mrs. Cullen. I was forever Carlisle's._

_"Hi, Mr. Cullen." I sighed, tightly wrapping my arms around him. I'd forgotten about pictures and the reception. I just wanted to spend the night wrapped up in Carlisle's arms. I didn't want to move from this spot. Ever._

"Carlisle," I cried as I opened my eyes and everything came into focus. It took me a minute to realized I was hooked up to an IV, in a hospital bed. I looked around to see Jasper and Alice sitting next to me with Professor McCarty standing in the corner.

"Bella!" Alice cried in relief as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "I've never been more happy to see you open your eyes before."

"How do you feel?" Jasper asked, squeezing my knee. I looked around and realized that even now he wasn't here.

"Carlisle?" I cried, just wanting to be back in my dream. It was the best dream I'd ever had. Alice just shook her head sadly as Jasper sat back down in his chair.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." She cried as she began streaming down my cheeks. "Professor McCarty tried getting ahold of him, but everything keeps going to voicemail."

"He's not here." I cried, hyperventilating. "He isn't here."

"Bella, please try and calm down."

"He's not here, Alice." I cried as she hugged me tightly again. "He didn't come."

"I'm so sorry, Bella." She cried as I felt a tear his my shoulder. I looked up to see both Jasper and Emmett on the verge of tears and after a while, saw Emmett storm out of the room. I finally cried myself to sleep after what seemed like hours of sobbing.

_"Carlisle?" I asked as I stood in the doorway of his home office._

_"What is it, sweetie?" He asked, not looking up from his laptop. He was trying to write a test and I hated bothering him._

_"Carlisle, it's time." I whispered, finally getting his attention. His head shot up and looked at me with the biggest smile I'd ever seen on his face. He stood up and ran over to me, passionately kissing me and wrapping his arms around me. Well, as far as they would with my huge stomach in the way. "It's really it this time. I can feel it."_

_"Me too." He smiled, kissing me again before grabbing my hand and pulling me into our bedroom to get my pillow and bag. "Edward!" He called as he ran around the house, grabbing things he thought we'd need._

_"Yeah?" He asked from the living room. Him and his girlfriend looked so comfortable on the couch. I didn't want to disturb them._

_"It's time! Get your coat and say goodbye to Alex!" He shouted and I heard Edward scream in excitement and kick Alex out the door. He came rushing upstairs as a contraction hit and since Carlisle wouldn't stay still, I grabbed his hand in stead._

_"It's okay, Bells." He soothed, rubbing my back trying to calm me down. "It's okay."_

_"Let's go!" Carlisle said as he grabbed my hand when the contraction was over and pulled me down stairs to get into the car. Carlisle broke about ten different laws trying to get me to the hospital and we were lucky he didn't get pulled over. Edward helped me out of the car and Carlisle grabbed my bag. He was tugging at my arm so hard I was sure it was going to pop out of the socket._

_"This is Bella Cullen and she's in labor." He breathed as we stood in front of the Nurse's Station. "We called while we were on the way."_

_"Yes, and we have your room open for you, Mrs. Cullen." She smiled as another nurse came up behind me with a wheelchair. "We're going to take good care of you."_

_"I know." I smiled as they began pushing me to my room._

_Fourteen hours later and ten centimeter's dilated, it was time to start pushing. Carlisle put on his scrubs and Edward went to go pace with his grandparents in the waiting room as they wheeled me down to the delivery room. Carlisle gripped my hand tightly as they instructed me to push. And after forty five minutes of pushing, we finally heard our baby's first cries._

_"You wanna cut the chord, dad?" The doctor asked over the cries. We decided for the sex of the baby to be a surprise and Carlisle was going to be the first to know and the one to tell me. He nodded his head eagerly and went over and grabbed the small scissors out of the nurses hand._

_"It's a girl." He cried. "We have a baby girl."_

_"Lydia Faye." I cried as they took her to wrap her up in a blanket. Carlisle came back to me and took my hand again, kissing me gently on the lips. Our little daughter was placed into my arms and I burst into tears of joy. "Hi, Lydia." I whispered as Carlisle kissed her tiny forehead. _

_"We're so happy you're here." He whispered, kissing me again._

"Carlisle," I cried again as my eyes opened to find myself back in reality once again.

"Bella?" I heard a familiar voice ask from beside me. I slowly turned to see Jake sitting in one of the chairs next to Alice, gripping my hand. "Hey,"

"Jake," I sighed tears filling in my eyes. Jake came. Jake was here for me. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw Professor Michaelson being arrested." He shrugged. "I asked one someone who was watching what happened and they explained what happened. When you didn't answer your phone I got worried and I called Jasper."

"You came." I smiled. Jake was the one who came and sat next to me while I was laying in a hospital bed. "You're here."

"I'm here." He smiled, standing up and kissing the top of my head. I felt his body trembling in fear as he gripped my hand tighter. "I'm here, Bella"

* * *

I was released from the hospital the next day after receiving the Plan B pill and after they were sure I wouldn't go into shock. Jake held me the entire way down the hospital steps and into his small Station Wagon. I felt safe with him than with Alice since he was twice her size. He drove me to his apartment complex where Alice was already waiting with a suitcase full of my clothes.

It was unusual for someone who went through what I did to want to stay with five guys. But, I trusted them all completely and I wanted to make sure someone would be there to kick someone's ass if need be.

Emmett had contacted Carlisle and told him what happened. But, he wouldn't tell me what he'd said. Only that he knew what was going on. It hurt that he didn't call, but he wasn't going to let anything risk me being in school. He was going to honor the deal he'd made and stay away from me. No matter how badly it hurt the two of us.

"I'm gonna go shower." Jake told me as I was putting some of my things in his dresser. "You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, go ahead." I smiled as he kissed the top of my head. I watched as he closed the bathroom door and continued unpacking my shut, and began blasting Sail, just trying to get my mind off of things. I was so into the music and getting this done, I wasn't paying attention to the door opening.

"Hey, Bella." A voice said from behind me and before I could even think, I whipped around and punched the person in the nose. "What the hell was that for?" Seth cried as he held his bleeding nose.

"Seth, I'm sorry." I cried, turning my music off and rushing over to him. "I didn't know it was you." I cried, my eyes filling with tears.

"Hey, it's fine." He said, as he brought me into his arms. "I'll be fine."

"It was just...just a natural reaction." I explained even though he told me he understood. "I'm really sorry."

"Bella, look at me." He said gently. "It's fine. I'm okay. I don't think it'd broken."

"I'll pay for it if it is."

"Don't you dare worry about this." He told me as he gave me a tight squeeze.

"Hey, hey." Jake's voice said as he came over to me. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Seth snuck up behind me and I punched him in the nose." I cried as Seth handed me over to Jake. "My music was up really loud and I didn't hear him come in."

"I wasn't trying to freak her out." He defended. "I thought she heard me."

"Do you think his nose is broken?" I asked after my sobs had subsided and Seth was sitting on the couch with ice on his nose.

"I don't think so." Jake told me after looking at it. "But it wouldn't be a bad idea to take him to the campus doctor tomorrow before class."

"I can't go to classes." I sobbed. "I just can't. Not yet."

"I wasn't expecting you to." Jake told me, hugging me tightly as cried just a little bit more.

I stayed right next to Jake for the rest of the night as the rest of them made sure I had everything I needed. Paul even bought a new lock for the door and set it up before going to bed. I knew I was safe. Professor Michaelson was in custody and no one was going to think of me being at Jacob Blacks place. But, being with him just made me feel a little bit safer.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself for a few hours?" Jake asked as he gathered his things for class. He offered to stay with me, but I wasn't going to be that person who made him stay with me. "I really could skip."

"No, you go to class, because I'm going to need your notes." I laughed. "And Alice has all afternoon classes today, she's going to come keep me company. That okay?"

"That's great, I don't want you here by yourself." He smiled as there was a knock on the door. Embry got to it before me and I heard how high pitched his voice got when he said hello to her. "Emby's got a crush."

"She's taken." I warned. I finished getting dressed and went out to greet Alice before the guys left for class. once they were gone, she broke out the coffee and doughnuts she'd brought and we sat at the kitchen table in an awkward silence. She didn't know how to be around me and I hated it. Alice always had something to say.

"I'm okay, Alice." I assured her. "Really, the bruises are already beginning to heal."

"It's not the bruises I'm worried about, Bella." She sighed. "I'm worried about you emotionally."

"I'm good." I lied. I was fucking terrified. "Really."

"I figured you'd say that." She sighed. "So I set up a session with the school's therapist."

"Alice, I didn't ask you to do that!"

"I don't care, Bella." She told me. "You were raped and you have to deal with this. Without Carlisle." She told me and the mention of his name made my stomach knot up again, and tears formed in my eyes.

_"May I have this dance, my lady?" Carlisle asked as You Are So Beautiful rang throughout the hall. I smiled up at him as I took his hand and he helped me up. He led me out to the middle of the dance floor where Edward was dancing with his beautiful bride, Kayla. I smiled as I saw their heads pressed together, sharing one of those moments._

_"I feel old." He laughed as we swayed to the music. "My oldest son just got married._

_"He's only twenty two, Carlisle." I laughed. "He isn't even that old."_

_"But I am."_

_"You're only forty four." I reminded him. Sometimes he acted like he was almost eighty when it came to age. "You could be a lot older."_

_"Hush, you." He laughed, leaning in for another kiss. "I can't believe how far he's come."_

_"Me either." I smiled. Edward had grown up so much since when I met him as a little eleven year old. Ten years can really make a difference. I never thought I'd be a stepmom to an amazing son. He was everything I'd hoped for in a kid and more. I was so blessed to have him and Carlisle and my two youngest kids in my life. _

_"Daddy?" Lydia asked, pulling at his pants once the song had ended. "Will you dance with me?"_

_"I would love to." He smiled. "Where's Carter?"_

_"Right here!" He laughed, running up to the three of us. I bent down and caught him as he ran into my arms._

_"Will you dance with mommy?" I asked my little four year old. _

_"It would be an honor." He laughed as I put him down and grabbed his hands as I Got You Babe began playing. I watched Carlisle with his only daughter and smiled at the life we'd managed to create for ourselves. It was our own perfect world._

"If I go they're just going to make me talk." I cried as she handed me a tissue. "About everything.

"That's a good thing, Bella." She encouraged.

The morning seemed to drag on and as Alice was leaving, Jake was coming in with a Wedny's bag in his hand.

"I can't cook...like anything." He laughed, setting the bag down. "So I took advantage of the Wedny's across the street from the Lit building."

"Perfect." I smiled as I took a bite of fries. "Will things ever be normal again?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, stuffing his face with the Bacon Burger he'd gotten.

"For me. Will I be able to have a normal life?"

"Well, you were doing pretty good after high school..."

"I don't mean with the rape." I told him. "I'm going to get through this, I did it once I can do it again. I mean...with the whole...dating my professor thing."

"I think for it to get better, you have to make it better." He told me. "That creep isn't going to hurt you anymore. You gotta just keep your head up and not listen to what people are saying."

"I dont know..."

"You're stronger than you think, Bella." He assured me. "Much stronger."

"But, I don't think I am." I argued. "I...I don't know how to be without him, Jake."

"Make yourself know." He shrugged, making it sound so easy. "You're making this so hard on yourself, Bella. Don't. Put on your strong face and act like everything's okay. Even if it's not."

"You really think that works?" I asked.

"It worked for me when I was around you for those three years." He shrugged, looking down at his food. "It worked pretty well."

"Jake,"

"Bella, I know." He smiled. It's..." But I didn't let him finish. I cupped his face in my hands and brought my lips to his, gently brushing them against his. "Thanks," He laughed.

"Sure thing." I laughed as I took a bite of my chicken sandwich.


	6. Here to Stay

**Chapter Six: Here to Stay**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

I awoke the next morning, my arm draped over Lizzie's body, to my phone ringing through the room. I gently moved her hand and began seating for my phone on the ground. Blindly sliding it open, I answered it.

"Hello?" I asked, falling back into bed as Lizzie cuddled closer to me.

"He raped her, Carlisle." Emmett's voice yelled, sounding scared and out of it. "He really raped her...like hardcore strapped her down with ropes, raped her."

My Bella. My beautiful Bella. That disgusting excuse for a man forced himself on her and I felt dirty for her. I let my phone drop to my floor as my body numbed over. I could barely breathe with the thought of Bella laying there helplessly while some man got himself off at her expense. I didn't think he'd try again. But I was so very wrong.

"Carlisle?" Lizzie asked as she shook me. "Carlisle, what's wrong?"

"He got her." I mumbled as I looked up at the ceiling, unable to move I was shaking so hard. "He got her this time."

"Who?" She asked.

"Michaelson." I told her. "Got Bella."

"Is she...is she dead?"

"No he raped her." I told her. "With rope."

"He raped her with rope?"

"No he used robe to tie her down so she couldn't get away." I explained. "She probably has rope burns now."

"You have to go to her."

"I can't, she'll get kicked off of campus."

"Carlisle,"

"I can't go, Lizzie!" I shouted as I sat up. "If I go I have to look at her as she lied lifelessly in a hospital bed...completely tramatized! If I go I have to say goodbye all over again! I can't put her through that pain! Not again...not now!"

"She needs you..."

"She has Alice." I told her. "She's going to be fine. She bounced back once...I know she can do it again."

Lizzie and I got up and began getting ready for work. Edward had been thoroughly warned about Lizzie staying the night, and he didn't do anything stupid when Lizzie sat down at the breakfast table. She was surprisingly good with him, asking him about the piano and soccer and he even played her a part from the piece he was working on. I watched as he got on the bus and went inside to finish getting ready.

"You know, you could make her a video." Lizzie suggested as we got our coats.

"What?" I asked.

"I mean make her a video saying that you know what happened...like a video diary." She explained. "That isn't breaking the rules."

"Emailing it to her would be."

"Have Edward email her." She shrugged. "They didn't say anything about Edward having contact with her."

"True," I mused. I'd never thought of using Edward as a way of contacting him. Plus, he missed her just as much as I did and I didn't think he'd be able to talk to her. But, Dean Gregory said I couldn't have contact with her. "Good idea, Liz."

"I'm bound to have a few of them every now and again." She laughed as she got into her car.

Emmett kept me informed throughout the day. Bella didn't have any major sustaining injuries and they were going to let her go the next morning. Professor Michaelson had been caught and was being put into custody. I so badly wanted to drive up to New York and beat his ass, but I couldn't also go to jail. That wouldn't help either of us.

But, I couldn't concentrate that day. I had my classes do silent reading and note taking on their own. Anytime I opened my mouth to speak, Bella would come out and I couldn't be doing that during class. So, they worked while I starred at a picture of Bella and I in Barcelona, two years ago. I couldn't believe it'd been two years since we took the trip of a lifetime together.

I remembered telling her the story of my grandparents and how excited she got when I explained how they met and fell in love. The way she awed at all the landmarks and how much she enjoyed the food there. The way she listened so intently on what I told her about the city, even though she probably didn't really care. She cared for me.

"Hey," Lizzie greeted at the end of the day.

"Hi, you ready?" I asked, grabbing my laptop bag and slinging it on my shoulder.

"No, I'm going out for drinks with the girls tonight." She laughed. "You go home and do what you need to do."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I was really starting to like her and I didn't want to scare her away with all the Bella drama in my life.

"Completely." She smiled, leaning and brushing her lips agains mine. "Go do what you need to."

"Thanks," I nodded, giving her another kiss before leading her out of the room. I locked both rooms and walked her to her car before finding mine. Edward would be home by now since practice was canceled and I just picked up food from a local diner. I walked inside to the beautiful song he'd been working on for weeks, the one that I finally recognized.

"Sounds good." I told him as we sat down for dinner. "You going to tell me what it is?"

"No." He told me. "Not yet."

"Okay," I agreed, not wanting to pry. "Hey, you wanna do something for me?"

"Sure,"

"I have to email Bella something, and I need your email address."

"Okay, go for it." He agreed immediately, and began talking about the math test he'd had that day. With all the work him and Bella did, he managed to get into a higher math program at his new school and I was so proud. Math was the thing he hated most, and he overcame it. "So, am I allowed to talk to Bella?"

"It's our loophole." I smiled. "The dean never said anything about you not being allowed to talk to her."

"Excellent!" He yelled, finishing his meal and putting his dish in the sink before going upstairs. I finished my dinner and went to do the dishes. Something that wasn't as much fun without someone to do them with. After everything was cleaned up, I made my way upstairs and went into my room and opened my laptop.

I spent a good hour talking into the webcam, telling Bella everything I thought she needed to hear. I so badly wanted to break all the rules and go see her. My love was in the hospital after being attacked. She would never take me back after now showing up, but I was hoping this would help her through it. Give her the push she needed to overcome what had happened.

* * *

Edward sent the video the next morning before going to school, and I called in sick. I wasn't ready to teach yet, and I didn't want to sit there as they just read in their books yet. So, I decided to rewrite lesson plans and clean the house to try and keep my mind off of things. But, cleaning only reminded me of Bella and how often she cleaned up after Edward and I.

I checked Edward's email constantly, but I was pretty sure she hadn't opened it yet or even used her computed since the attack.

"Hello?" I asked after an unknown number showed up on my Caller ID just as Edward was getting home.

"Dr. Cullen?" A familiar voice asked on the other line.

"Miss Brandon, what are you doing calling?"

"Bella doesn't want to go to therapy." She explained. "She doesn't want to talk about anything."

"Tell her she has to!" I screeched. "Tell her I told her she needs to go!"

"Bella doesn't work like that and you know it, Dr. Cullen." She sighed. "Bella doesn't do what she's told to do a lot of the time and if I force her, she's going to make going to this guy a total joke."

"I know," I sighed. "She's going to do it her way on her own time, Alice. You know it and so do I."

"But..."

"Trust me, the nightmares are going to get the best of her." I sighed. "That's what happened last time. She told me she couldn't stand seeing his face every time she closed her eyes anymore."

"Every time she closes her eyes, she sees you." Alice told me. "She told me she dreamt of your wedding day and the day you two had a baby together."

"So do I." I cried. "Hey, Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Is she...is she seeing anyone?" I asked, my voice shaking. "Boy wise."

"Kinda," She whispered. "It isn't my place to tell you."

"Please, I just wanna know."

"Are you seeing someone?"

"It isn't serious." I shrugged. "She doesn't want it to be serious and neither do I...I just need someone to talk to, Alice. Keep my mind off of Bella."

"Well, she's living with Jacob Black." She told me and I nearly choked on the coffee I'd just taken a sip of. "She told me she feels more safe with him and his friends than with me if anything should happen."

"Guys?" I asked.

"There's five of them living in the apartment." She sighed. "They're twice my size, and she's just doing it so she feels safe."

"Well, what about Jake?" I asked. "Doesn't he have a thing for her?"

"They slept together last week." She sighed. "But, I don't know if anythings going to happen."

"She's living with one of the best looking guys she's friends with." I mumbled. "Of course something is going to happen."

"I'll keep you posted." She laughed.

"One more thing!" I stopped her before she hung. "Make sure Bella looks at her email."

"Will do." She promised before hanging up the phone.

* * *

"Hi, Edward. I just want you to know that I'm okay. I really am I don't want you worrying about me. I want you to focus on school and soccer and piano. How's that going, by the way? Obviously the piano's good, but how about soccer? Is it as good as back home? Well, anyway, I want you to tell your dad I got his video and I get it. I love you and I really can't wait until I can see you again. Bye, buddy!"

Then, the screen went black and Bella was gone. She'd gotten my video and I felt an odd sense of closure for us. At least for now. She was safe with Jake and I knew Alice and Jasper would keep her safe. I was somehow able to breath again, something that had been hard for this last week. Thanksgiving was finally approaching which meant Edward and I were heading back to New York.

"Can I send her a video?" Edward asked as he packed a bag for the city. "I mean, you said we'd found a loophole."

"I know we did, but I don't think it's a good idea to be sending her a ton of stuff, bud." I sighed. "She has to focus."

"Yeah, on the new freaking boyfriend." He sighed. He'd overheard Emmett and I talking the other night.

"Hey, don't be upset." I sighed. "If Bella and I are meant to be, this thing with Jake will only last a few months."

"I hope so." He mumbled. "I really miss her, dad."

"I do to."

"How can you say that you miss her...and be with Lizzie at the same time?" He asked. "I mean if you love and miss her like you say...shouldn't you just stay single until you can get her back."

"Being alone only makes it that much more real that she isn't with me, Edward." I sighed. "It makes it that much harder."

"But I'm here."

"It isn't the same, kid, and you know that." I told him. "It's a different kind of lonely."

"Okay, well all I have to say is you two better get back together or we're going to have a major problem." He warned and I knew he was completely serious. He'd hate me one hundred percent if Bella and I didn't end up getting back together.

"I'm going to do my best." I sighed, digging in his closet for his blue sweater for Thanksgiving dinner.

I pulled Edward out of school early the next day so we could get a jumpstart to New York before rush hour. The drive was a lot more fun than last time we had a roadtrip and he was actually enjoying himself. We ate too much junk, listened to bad music, and even played road trip games including the license plate game. We pulled into my mothers driveway at six thirty, and she was already waiting for us on the porch.

"My babies!" She cried as Edward ran over to her, nearly knocking her over with his hug. I gave her a tight hug before she led inside where my dad was watching a football game. After we'd said hello to him, we brought our bags in and got settled in our rooms.

After all these years of not living here, my room was exactly how I'd left it. My trophies were still on the wall from elementary school. My prom pictures with my high school sweetheart, Sasha. The tux I wore for my wedding day was still hanging in my closet and my mother even had the same bedspread out. I loved how much my mother cared that she kept everything.

As I was leaving to turn off the lights, I noticed the picture I'd been avoiding that was still on my dresser. A picture of Esme and I on our wedding day. I made my way over there and picked it up, looking intently at it. Esme looked better with shorter hair in my opinion and I still regretted letting my hair get that long. But aside from everything. We looked happy. Genuinely happy. We were looking at each other, goofy smiled on our faces. Looking in love.

"That was one of the biggest smiled I'd ever seen on your face, kiddo." I heard my mother sigh. I turned to see her leaning against the doorframe, smiling at me. "That smiles gone now, baby."

"No it isn't." I lied. I never smiled like this anymore. Not since Bella.

"Carlisle, I know you better than I know myself." She laughed as she sat down on the bed with me. "You haven't smiled your real smile since you left NYU."

"Mom,"

"Now, I know you miss her, dear." She sighed, running her hand through my hair. "But, maybe this was a good thing."

"A good thing?"

"Now you can get over her."

"I don't want to get over her, mom." I told her. "I want to be with her."

"Carlisle you two were so different."

"No we weren't, mom." I argued. "I'd never met someone who I was more alike than Bella. More compatiable with."

"You were so far apart in age, how could you ever have much in common?"

"Age didn't matter." I shrugged. "We're just right for each other."

"Well what if she stays with this new boy of hers?" She asked. "What if she wants to stay with someone her own age?"

"Then, like I did with Esme, I'll pick myself up and move on." I sighed, realizing it could very well happen. Jake and Bella were the same age, things would be easy for them. "But, she's coming back, mom. She is. I know she is."

"Well, baby, I don't want you to give up all hope." She whispered, kissing my cheek. "But, I don't want you to never smile again."

"I'll smile again, mom." I assured her. "Someday, I will."

"I sure hope so." She sighed. "You have too beautiful of a smile to keep it hidden away."

I had yet another sleepless night and was up bright and early to get ready to go over his grandfather's house with Tyler. I got him dressed and watched as he ran to Tyler's car. I was spending Thanksgiving with only my parents, just like old times.

Edward and I spent the rest of his break in the city, visiting some of our favorite spots. I nearly broke down into tears when my parents decided to take us to _Acappella's _for dinner our last night here. I put on my brave face and went inside with them, but couldn't hold it in any longer when I saw the table we shared my thirty forth birthday at.

_"So, can it be present time?" She asked, looking giddy and excited._

_"Bella, you've done more than enough for me tonight."_

_"No I haven't." She argued as she dug in her purse for my gift. She handed me a thin box with only a bow to wrap it. I looked at her smiling as I opened it and couldn't believe what she'd given me. I was holding two plane tickets to Barcelona Spain and a receipt for a five night stay at a hotel._

_"Bella, this is too much." I sighed, putting it down on the table. "I mean I love the thought but I can't let you spend this money on me."_

_"I barely spent any money." She told me. "It was a graduation present."_

_"What?"_

_"My parents told me for my graduation that they would pay for me and one other person to go anywhere I wanted to go." She explained. "I didn't get to use it before I left for school, but the offer still stood. My dad is really good friends with a travel agent and got the best deals out there."_

_"This is still too much."_

_"No, it isn't." She argued. "I didn't know where I wanted to go until you told me you've been dreaming to go to Spain ever since you took your first year of Spanish in high school. Now, I wanna go to Spain with you so you can live out a dream of yours."_

_"What about your dream place?"_

_"I have plenty of time for that." She laughed._

She loved me so much and I threw it away. I threw everything away so she could stay in school. I kept trying to tell myself it was what was best, for her to stay at NYU and graduate with Alice. But every time I told myself that, I knew I was lying. I only wanted her to be with me and she wasn't because of me. I threw it away.

"Dad?" Edward whispered as he handed me a napkin. "It's going to be okay."

"I hope you're right, Edward." I cried, wiping my face. "I really hope you're right."


	7. Running for Cover

**Chapter Seven: Running for Cover**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"What are you doing, beautiful?" Jacob asked as he sat down on the couch next to me a week after getting back from Forks. For the first time in two years, I was glad to get back home for Christmas break, even though I missed Jake.

Jake and I had grown into something much more than I expected. I decided to take a chance and I jumped into a relationship with him after coming back after Thanksgiving break. It wasn't as passionate as mine and Carlisle's relationship was, but it was comfortable. Something I was getting used to. He knew how to make me laugh, and knew when I just needed his shoulder.

He was good to me, and that's what I needed now.

I finally decided to come clean about what happened to my parents over break. My mother was in tears for three days and my father stayed silent until I was getting packed to go back. He nearly pulled me out of NYU and enrolled me to Washington University. But, with much arguing and rationalizing, he let me come back to New York. Professor Michaelson was in jail, pending trial and I felt safe with Jake around.

Things were slowly getting back to normal.

Even though I had Jake, someone who loved me and protected me, Alice was against it completely. She kept accusing me of using him to get over Carlisle. She may have been right, but I did care about Jake a lot. I never realized how good of a guy he was until I saw him in that hospital room in November.

"Tattoos." I smiled as I scrolled down, looking intently.

"Tattoos?" He asked, wrapping his arm around me. "Of what?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Inspirational things."

"And why do you all of a suddenly want a tattoo?"

"It isn't all of a sudden." I huffed. "I've wanted one for a while, but never really had a good reason for getting one."

"And what's your really good reason?" He laughed, pushing the hair out of my face.

"Being alive...and living my life." I sighed, turning to him. "I've already been raped twice and I'm not even twenty two yet. I think the fact that I haven't fallen into a hole to die and decided to continue living my life is...a miracle."

"You're right." He agreed.

"So, I want something small and tasteful...that says I'm not a quitter. Something to remind me to keep living, even when I want to just stop." I told him, turning the screen towards him. "And, I really like this."

It was a small tattoo with an anchor that created an infinity sign. The small script below the picture read '_I refuse to sink_' Something I thought described me completely.

"It's perfect." He whispered, kissing my cheek. "Where are you thinking of getting it?"

"On my right hip." I said, pointing to my frontal right hip bone. "I really only want me to be able to see it unless I'm in a bathing suit or something."

"Hmmm," He sighed, rubbing the spot I'd showed him. "Sexy."

"Does it hurt?" I asked him. He had and the rest of his roommates had a wolf tattoo on there right bicep, something they'd all gotten when they were of legal age. He said most of the kids on the reservation had one and explained it brought them together even if they rarely stayed on the reservation for their entire lives anymore.

"Yeah, but it wasn't too bad." He shrugged. "But, I have a lot of muscel where I have the tattoo, your hip doesn't so it'll probably hurt more than mine did."

"Plus, you're so tough, huh?"

"Well, I thought that was obvious." He laughed, leaning in and brushing his lips against mine. I pulled away and shut my computer, putting it on the coffee table in front of us. I turned back to him and crashed my lips into his as he pulled me into his lap. He began to gently thrust up, turning me on yet again. But, before anything more could happen, the door crashed open.

"You can't even keep it in your room?" I heard Paul laughed as he shut the door. "Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Paul." I sighed. I loved all his roommates, but Paul could be such an ass most of the time.

"Don't mind us, I just forgot my book." He laughed as he and his new girlfriend, Rachel, walked off into his room. I slid off of his lap and pulled him into his bedroom and shut the door behind us. He sat down on his bed and gently pulled me into his lap.

"Will you come with me?" I asked as I played with his short hair. "When I get my tattoo."

"Probably not." He laughed. "Of course I'll come with you, Bella. What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I wasn't there to hold your hand."

"A bad one." I sighed as I pushed him down onto the bed. I swung my leg over so I was stradling him. He gripped my hips as I began gently moving back and forth, earning a soft moan. "Now, where were we before the big bad Paul walked in.

"Right about, here." He smirked as he pulled me down closer to him, attacking my lips with his.

* * *

I scheduled my tattoo appointment for Saturday afternoon and even Alice reluctantly agreed to go with me. She met us there and it took both of them to get me onto table for the tattoo.

Once the needle his my skin, I was in tears. I was squeezing Jake's hand so hard I was sure I'd broken it. But, it was a small tattoo and it didn't take long to complete. Once the initial pain wore off, I stood up and walked over to the floor length mirror they had and took my first look at it. It was perfect and said everything about me.

"It looks awesome, Bella." Alice gushed as she took a close look at it. "Really good choice."

"She's right," Jake chuckled as he came up behind me and kissed my neck. "I love it."

"Me too." I sighed as I walked back over to the artist so he could put the bandage over top of it. Once Jake had paid for it...something I told him he didn't have to do but insisted...we headed back outside. "You guys wanna get lunch?"

"I should be getting back to Jasper." Alice sighed. She didn't want to spend anytime with Jake and I because she didn't like what I was doing with him. Sure I didn't have the intense love I had with Carlisle, but I did care for him. But, she was right about one thing. He was mine until Carlisle came back to me. Once Carlisle was in my life again, I had to break up with Jake. It was inevitable.

"Please, Alice?" I begged. She agreed to go with a giant sigh and hopped into her car and followed us to a nearby Subway. Lunch was very enjoyable and the two of them were able to get along for the hour we were there. Jake dropped Alice off at our apartment and took me back to his so we could work on homework together.

"How's it feeling?" He asked as he switched over to his Calculus homework while I continued writing my essay for our Lit class Monday morning.

"It's a little sore, nothing bad though." I sighed. We had an hour more of peace before Seth and Quill came bursting through the door.

"Hey, Bella!" Seth nearly shouted as he put the basketball on the floor near the door. "How's the tattoo?"

"It's a little sore, but it's good." I smiled. "Thanks, Seth."

"How much did it hurt?" Quill asked as he passed a bottle of water to Seth.

"Not too bad." I lied and almost got away with it until Jacob starred be down. "Okay, I thought I was going to pass out."

"Don't worry, Jake was in tears by the time they were finishing up with his." Quill laughed, earning himself a book thrown at his head.

"You said yours didn't hurt that much?" I asked, turning to him.

"I was not almost in tears. It stung, but I was a big boy." He spat, starring Quill down.

"Anyway, can we see it?" Seth asked.

"I can't take the bandage off until dinner time." I sighed. "But you can then."

"Cool!" He shouted before running into the bathroom to get a shower.

Jake and I finished our homework a little while later and ordered pizza with the guys. Paul and Rachel excused themselves halfway through to fuck in his bedroom, and we all tried very hard to not listen. Which turned out to be impossible since Rachel was a screamer.

"Seth, you think you're ever going to get around to that?" Embry laughed as they tortured the little nineteen year old. "I mean, how old are you?"

"Shut up, Embry!" He yelled. "Just because you lost it at fifteen doesn't mean we all have to!"

"It was not fifteen." Embry defended. "It was fifteen and a half. And Anna was fucking hot as hell."

"That she was." Quill agreed, raising his Sprite can. Rachel and Paul finished up and came up to finish eating, even though they made no attempt to look like they hadn't done anything. I guess the figured we already knew so what was the point. after dinner, Seth excused himself to go God knows where and Quill and Embry hit a frat party.

"You staying tonight?"

"If I stay tonight I gotta go home tomorrow." I told him. "Alice really misses me."

"I'd rather you stay tonight so we can have a little fun together." He laughed as he pulled two beers out of the fridge. Beer had really grown on me since that frat party in October. I had Jacob to thank for that. He handed me the bottle after getting the cap off and we sat down on the couch together. We just stayed up and watched bad movies and drank together until one in the morning.

"Hey, you ready for bed?" Jake asked as he nudged me awake.

"No," I smiled. "I'm ready for something better in your bedroom."

"That...can be arranged." He smiled as he stood up, pulling me with him. He led me to his room and right as we shut the door, we heard the front door open and suspected Seth to be home since the other two were probably getting laid somewhere else. He gently pushed me onto the bed and tried crawling on top of me. I, on the other hand, had something else in mind and flipped us over to I was on top.

"This is new." He smirked as he gripped my hips. I reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, revealing my new tattoo perfectly to him. He smiled at it as he touched the skin around it and I pulled his own shirt over his head. We quickly took each others clothes off and right as I was positioning himself on top of me, we heard loud moans coming from the living room.

"What was that?" I asked as I looked at Jake.

"I don't know or care." He huffed as he thrusted up, entering me. I yelled in pleasure and braced my hands on his chest, giving me some leverage to ride him. It didn't take either of us very long to climax and I fell limp on top of him, covered in sweat. He pulled out and gently moved me to lay next to him and brought his arm around me. Again I heard loud moans coming from the living room.

"There it is again!" I laughed as I got out of bed and pulled Jake's shirts over my head. I tiptoed towards the door and pressed my ear to it, hearing the same thing I did a few seconds ago. I gently opened the door and peeked outside, and saw something I never thought I'd see. Seth was in between a girls legs, both of them naked and sweaty.

"Oh my god!" I breathed, motioning for Jake to come to me.

"What?" He whispered as I stepped out of his way so he could have a look. "That was something I never wanted to see!"

"I think Seth has been having sex for quite sometime now." I mused. "He doesn't look like it's his first time."

"What do you mean?"

"Confused and jerky." I laughed. "Nope, he's definately been doing her for a while."

"My little Seth, all grown up. "Jake laughed as we got under the covers.

* * *

Another month had passed and it was already the middle of February. Time really was flying and since it was almost Valentines Day, I felt sick to my stomach. Jake had this whole big thing planned and I never even liked the holiday. Carlisle and I weren't together for our first and we hung around his place and watched dumb movies all night.

Jake on the other hand wanted to get dressed up in red and take me to a nice romantic dinner and give me a present. Something I wasn't looking forward to. If you loved a person, you should show them everyday, not just on a specific date. I personally think it was made up by sales people to get money in between Christmas and Easter.

But, it was what was going to make him happy and I was putting on my happy face. Alice helped me pick out a dress and shoes and helped me pull my hair up into a tight ponytail. She'd picked a red dress with white polka dots and gave me a pair of her red pumps. Jake was knocking on the door right at six, just like he said he was.

"Hey, you." He smiled, leaning in and brushing his lips against mine. He had dressed in white and gray dress pants, and saved the red for the tie he was wearing.

"So do you." I smiled, grabbing my coat and keys. "You ready?"

"Yes I am." He smiled as he took my hand and led me down the hall.

He hadn't gone overboard with the restaurant he'd chosen. It was nice, but it wasn't overdone and there wasn't paper hearts and roses everywhere. It was simple and taistful. I guessed he'd gotten my hints about not liking the 'holiday' very much.

"I have something for you." He smiled, taking something out of his coat pocket. He slid the black velvet box across the table until it was in front of me. Jewelry. How thoughtful. I gently opened the box and was taken back when I saw what was inside. It wasn't some cliche tennis bracelet or necklace. He'd gotten me a silver anchor charm and attached it to a necklace.

"Jacob," I gasped as I took it out of the box.

"I had that planned before you got your tattoo actually." He blushed. "I don't want you thinking I did it and had no original ideas."

"I didn't." I told him as he stood up and too the necklace from me. I removed the one I'd been wearing and let him clasp it around my neck. "It's perfect."

"Well, I'm really glad you like it."

"This is for you." I told him, handing him the card I'd gotten me. He carefully ripped open the envelope and slid the card out. He laughed at the front and just starred at what was inside.

"You can't be serious." He gasped after reading the sheet of paper over and over again. "Simon & Schuster wants to publish that story?" He asked, sounding completely surprised. He'd been working on writing a story since he was a senior in high school. I'd been reading it since our freshman year when he really got into the swing of it and it was perfect. We all told him this could be published, but he never believed me.

"I'm dead serious." I smiled. "I sent them it three weeks ago."

"It's just a short story."

"Not all books need to be five hundred pages long." I shrugged. "They liked your idea and how original it was."

"I can't believe you did this for me."

"You deserve it, Jake." I smiled, grabbing his hand. "You're a talented writer and I'm so proud of you."

Jake and I finished our dinner and went back to his place and spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other's arms. It had turned out to be a pretty good Valentines Day after all.

Soon, February turned into MArch and then it was April. I had a month left of college and then I was on my own. I hadn't accepted a job yet, scared that if I did, Carlisle would come back to me. I had to make sure he wasn't in my future before I could create my own. Jake had accepted a job at a small publishing company in New York and hoped to one day, become a famous author.

Jasper had proposed to Alice at the beginning of April and she said yes immediately, and called minutes after to ask me to be her maid of honor. I couldn't have been happier for her, but I was also jealous. There was no proposal coming from Jake anytime soon since we'd only been seeing each other for a few months and who knew what Carlisle had in mind.

I wanted to call people and tell them I was getting married. But, that sadly wasn't going to happen for a while.

But, Jacob and I were enjoying our time together. We complemented each other nicely and everything was working out.

"Bella?" He whispered as he held me one night after we'd both exhausted ourselves rolling around on his bed.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." He sighed for the first time. I stopped breathing for a second, not knowing what to say. I cared a lot about him, but I wasn't sure if I loved him yet. "Don't say something you don't mean just to make me happy. I want you to say it because you feel it, not like you feel like you have to."

"I'm getting there, Jacob." I told him honestly. If Carlisle didn't come back, I could see myself being with him for a long time. "I am, I promise."

"I know you are." He said, kissing the top of my head. After I was able to feel my legs again, I got up and pulled on his shirt to get a bottle of water. I smiled at the picture they had taped to their fridge. A picture of the five of them, flexing their tattoo's at the camera. They were so funny together my stomach almost always starting hurting from laughing so hard.

"So weird." I mumbled as I turned around. As I was walking back to his room, I bumped a stack of papers onto the ground. I bent down to pick them up, but stopped to take a closer look at them as I put them down. As I looked at the page on top, I realized it was an email Jake had sent to an '_M. Morris'_

"What the?" I asked myself as I read the email over and then, felt sick to my stomach.


	8. Getting Late

**Chapter Eight: Getting Late**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"Dad! We're going to be late!" Edward wined up the stairs as Lizzie and I got dressed. Even though it was mid-January, Edward had joined a travel team for soccer. We were constantly on the road for him. But, it was a good distraction and Lizzie normally came with us.

Lizzie and Edward had bonded a lot since the first time they met. Edward was never going to be as close to her as he was with Bella, but it was good they got along. It was even his idea to invite her to the games. I was so happy he was getting along with her or things would have been a lot more difficult to start something with her.

Lizzie grabbed our bags as I got our coats and we headed downstairs to the car where Edward was already waiting for us. He crawled in the backseat and put his headphones in like he always did and he was occupied for the entire four and a half hours to Cincinnati. Lizzie and I talked for most of the trip, but talking to her was a whole lot different than talking to Bella. Lizzie was smarter than most people I knew, but we didn't connect as well on an interletual level like Bella and I had.

But she was still someone to talk to and I was thankful. She was a nice girl who didn't expect much from me or anything from this relationship. Although, that's what she kept telling me anyway. But, I could tell she was getting attached to me and I felt horrible. The only reason I got involved was because I thought she was going to understand when it was time for me to go back to Bella. But, now I was afraid I was going to break her heart and that wasn't what I wanted to do at all.

The three of us piled into the car and began our four hour drive to Cincinnati. Edward stayed quiet through most of the drive except for when he was telling us where he wanted to eat. Lizzie and I sat in comfortable silence and barely spoke the entire way.

It was different with Lizzie. She didn't expect much from me. She didn't expect me to fall madly in love with her or to be the perfect boyfriend. We were happy just where we were. Where we were though, I had no idea. She meant more to me than just a friend, but less than love. It was true. I didn't love her and I honestly doubt I would end up loving her. Not in that way anyway.

But, I could tell her trust in me was growing and she was beginning to develop feelings for me. The way she grabbed my hands while we walked, and the way she looked at me when she thought I wasn't paying attention.

She made me feel like a horrible person.

But, I was greedy and selfish and didn't want to let her go just yet. She was some sort of security in my life right now and that's what I desperately craved right now.

"Thanks, dad!" Edward shouted as I parked the car in the lot next to the field. I got out and unlocked the trunk so he could get his things and he sped off towards his team.

"Good luck!" I called as he ran away. Lizzie was waiting for me with a blanket and cooler in hand for the game. I grabbed the cooler and she grabbed my hand as we walked towards the bleachers.

"Carlisle, good to see you." A mom greeted as I sat down next to her. "How's Edward's ankle?"

"A lot better." I told her. "He says it isn't bothering him much at all anymore."

"He got a doctor's clearance?" She asked since it hadn't been very long since he sprained it.

"Last week, but then he was sick so we had to wait for him to play." I told her. She turned away to watch the team warm up. Lizzie and I snuggled under the blanket and waited for the game to start. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to warm her up since she was constantly cold and prayed the game would end soon. I didn't want to say no when he asked to join a travel team, but I had no idea what it really entailed.

"YES!" I shouted when Edward scored a goal towards the end of the first half, breaking the tie they'd been in. Moments after, the ref blew his whistle, signaling the end of the first half. Lizzie and I stood up and met up with Edward who looked like he was in pain. "You okay, bud?"

"My ankle hurts a little, but nothing major." He told me. "I just haven't used it in a while...it's bound to be a little sore."

"Okay, but you tell the coach if you need to sit out."

"I'm fine, dad." He huffed before his coach called them over for a huddle. Lizzie and I made our way to the concession stand to get some hot coffee and sat down again as the second half started. Edward managed to kick the ball to his team mate at kick off, starting the second half off well.

I almost couldn't believe how good he'd gotten at soccer since he didn't play a single sport until he turned twelve. But, he was a natural and I was so proud of him being able to do sports and still make time for the piano. I watched as he and another boy fought violently for the ball and just when I thought Edward had won, he fell down to the ground.

I watched, waiting for him to get up, but he only cried out in pain. I stood up and ran down to the field as the ref blew his whistle for a time out. I ran passed the teams bench and towards Edward at the other end of the field. I could hear him almost screaming in pain and when I got to him, I saw him holding his ankle.

"Damn," I whispered as I kneeled down next to him. "What happened?"

"This kid kicked me!" He accused, pointing to the kid who he'd been trying to get the ball from.

"Did not!"

"I think it was a mixture of the small hole right there," His teammate, Nate, pointed out. "And the fact that prat kicked him in the ankle on purpose."

"Did you see that, Nate?" I asked.

"I was right next to him," He shrugged. "And Edward isn't a liar and he shakes things off when he can if he's in pain."

"Edward, move your hand, sweetie." The coach's wife, Shelby, who was also a nurse, said. "It's already swelled, we need to get him off the field."

"Come on, bud?" I sighed, trying to help him up.

"Dad, it hurts."

"Come on, I'll hold you up." I told him. I stood him up, careful not to let him put pressure on his ankle. Nate grabbed his other side and helped him stand up as he hopped off the field. The crowd began to cheer for him and I didn't miss his smile of appreciation as he hopped off the field. The coach put two new players on the field to take their places as we sat Edward down on the bench and the game started again.

"We're going to take you to the hospital." I told him as I wrapped his coat around him and Shelby wrapped ice around his ankle.

"Dad, no." He wined. "Can't I at least stay to watch the end of the game."

"I don't think that's a good idea." I sighed.

"I'll go with you." Nate offered. "I'm exhausted anyway." He smiled.

"No stay and finish the game."

"It isn't fun when you aren't playing with me." He said and Edward gave a reluctant nod, saying he could come. Nate's father came and helped get Edward to the car while Lizzie and Jada, Nate's mother, helped get his things into the car. Nate jumped in the back with Edward and we started towards the hospital. The drive wasn't very long and I could tell Edward was in a lot of pain.

Nate ran inside and got a wheelchair so Edward wouldn't have to hop anymore and I pushed him through the Emergency Room doors.

"My son did something to his ankle at a soccer game." I told the nurse at the desk.

"Fill out these forms, please." She smiled. "I'll get you back to get looked at as soon as possible."

"Thanks," I sighed as I went to sit next to Edward. The wait wasn't very long since it was the middle of the afternoon and Edward was sitting on a bed in no time.

The doctor came in and did a quick examination before sending Edward up for an x-ray. Lizzie, Nat, and I waited impatiently while we waited for his x-ray to be finished. I kept getting my phone out to tell Bella what was going on.

Then I remembered...we were broken up and I couldn't talk to her.

"Mr. Cullen?" A womans voice asked after a good twenty minutes of waiting.

"Yes?"

"Edward's back in his room." She smiled. "You can come back in."

"Thank you." I said as I followed her. Edward was sitting in his bed with his leg elevated and ice on it. I went and sat down next to him as a doctor came inside. "So?"

"Unfortunately, the ankle is fractured." He sighed as he showed us the x-rays. "Did he hurt this ankle before?"

"I sprained it a few weeks ago, but my doctor back home said I was good to play." Edward explained, sounding extremely disappointed.

"It was, but it would have been better for you to stay out a bit longer." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Edward but I have no choice but to cast your ankle."

"How long will it be on?" He asked.

"About six weeks." He told me and I knew Edward wasn't going to play soccer again until the fall. His extended season ended the middle of March and who knew how long he'd have to be in physical therapy after getting the cast off.

"But my season end in two months..." He argued.

"I'm sorry, son." The doctor sighed. "There isn't anything I can do about that."

* * *

"You about ready?" I asked as I grabbed Edward's crutches for him. He was finally going back to school after being out for a week. But, in the week he'd spent at home, the only thing he'd done was mope. He wasn't going to be able to play for the rest of his season and he couldn't even play the piano with the cast around his ankle.

"Yeah," He sighed, putting the crutches under his arms. I grabbed his bag and followed him out to the car. I drove him to school and Nate met him outside to help him out. I was so thankful Nate and Edward had met. They were closer to each other in four and a half months than Edward was with any of the kids in his school after years together.

"Thanks, Nate!" I called as he grabbed Edward's backpack for him.

"No problem, Mr. Cullen!" He called as he and Edward walked towards the school. I made sure they got close to the school before driving off towards the city. I had also taken a week off to help Edward out and I wasn't really ready to be back. I saw Lizzie of course but I didn't really wanna see people.

"So, I was thinking I'd make you and Edward dinner tonight." Lizzie told me as she perched herself on my desk at lunch. "You've been doing all the cooking lately."

"That sounds really nice, Lizzie." I smiled. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?" She asked. "You've been in a mood all day?"

"I'm just...in a mood I guess." I shrugged. "It was just nice being off is all."

"Oh, I get that." She laughed as she took a bite of her sandwich. We finished lunch and parted for our afternoon classes. I finished before she did and offered to go to the store to get what she needed for dinner. It was a quick trip and Edward was passed out on the couch when I got home. The pain medication was making him so tired all the time.

Lizzie made the two of us a delicious dinner, but I couldn't get the voice out of my head saying that it wasn't Bella's cooking. Bella's meals came close to the meals my mother made me when I was a kid...and no girlfriend I'd ever had had ever come close to that.

Lizzie just wasn't Bella.

* * *

"You ready?" I asked Edward as he crutched into the doctors office.

"Dad, I've been ready for six weeks." He laughed. He was finally able to get his cast off, but I didn't want him to get too excited. He'd most likely still have to go through physical therapy, but we were taking this one step at a time. When we got into the office, he was called into an exam room immediately and the doctor gave him the okay for having the cast removed.

Dr. Meade began sawing the cast open and soon, Edward's leg was finally free. He let out a sigh of relief and tried bending the ankle.

"We're going to do a x-ray, but everything on the outside looks good." Dr. Meade smiled. The x-ray confirmed that the bone had healed properly and was a lot better than he expected it to be. He gave Edward an ankle brace to keep everything in place for the time being, which I could tell frustrated him.

"How long do I have to wear this?" He asked, sounding annoyed.

"At least three weeks." He explained. "It's just for caution since your ankle is so week from not using it. You can walk around and put pressure on it, but this is just to be safe."

"Okay, that's not that bad."

"And then, depending on what your physical therapist says, I would strongly advise you to wear this during soccer and baseball or during anything physical activity."

"I can do that." Edward said with joy in his voice. Just the thought of being able to play sports again thrilled him. We finished up at the doctor's office and got his recomendation for a good physical therapist. Edward and I went out for lunch and then out for a walk to enjoy his new freedom. I called the therapist when we got home and made him appointment for early next week.

Edward was happy and moving around again. I was content.

"You wanna go make your room up again?" I asked since he'd been living in the downstairs guest room to make everything easier.

"Yes please!" He said excitedly, grabbing a handful of his clothes in his hands. Edward was quick to move everything upstairs and I left him to clean everything up while I went and got ready for my date with Lizzie. Although we'd been getting closer, we never had many nights out together. We were normally at her place or mine, but nothing special.

Tonight I was taking her into the city for a romantic dinner and then she got to pick what we did afterwards. I may not be wanting to marry her, but I was allowed to be romantic.

"You going to be okay?" I asked as Edward sat down at the piano. Being thirteen, he insisted he didn't need a babysitter and I trusted him. He was a good kid and I had a neighbor looking after him from her house.

"Yeah, pizzas on it's way, right?"

"Yep, moneys on the kitchen counter." I told him. "They should be here within in hour they said."

"Cool," He smiled. "Bye, dad."

"Bye, buddy." I laughed as I headed out to the garage. I walked to her door and my breath was taken away. Lizzie had always been beautiful, but it seemed to be magnified in the pink and white dress she had on.

"You look...beautiful." I whispered as she pulled on a trench coat since it was only March.

"Thanks, you look pretty good yourself, handsome." He giggled as she leaned in and pecked me on the lips. "Shall we?"

"I think we shall." I laughed as I took her hand in mine. We drove for a little bit before pulling into a small parking lot next to a quant little restaurant.

"Oh my gosh." She gasped when she saw the sign.

"What?"

"This is the place my mom and dad got engaged." She smiled. "I was seven."

"Seven?"

"Okay, not my real mom." She sighed. "My real mom walked off just weeks after I was born. It took my dad years to trust anyone again and for a while it was just the two of us. Until he met Sara."

"And Sara's...good?"

"Sara's the best person he could have met." She smiled. "She was my preschool teacher and the nicest lady you will ever know. I'm the reason they really spent time together." She laughed as we sat down.

"And why is that?"

"I called Jill Daniels a...bitch." She laughed. "I'd heard my dad use it over the phone once...come to think of it...I think he was talking to my birth mom. Anyway, they had to have a little chat and from that little chat..."

"Sparked a great love affair." I laughed. "Sounds like a movie."

"That's what everyone says, but it was real." She smiled. "They're going to be celebrating their twenty-fifth anniversary in a few weeks actually."

"That's fantastic." I smiled. We had a delicious meal together and even shared a dessert to add on the cliche I was trying to create. She insisted we go to Mt. Washington to gaze at the city since it's one of the only places I still haven't been since moving here. She showed me a good place to park and dragged me to one of the balcony like things that overlooked the city.

I had to admit, she was right. I was missing out on this and it was the prettiest spots in the city. I could see the entire city perfectly and everything was gold with the lights turned on. The fountain was sputtering water and everything was extremely peaceful. I grabbed her waist and gently pulled her into me.

I hadn't taken the time to really think about my feelings for Lizzie yet. Not until this moment anyway. But, sharing this moment with her was oddly settling. Like everything that we were had built up to this moment. That this was _our_ moment.

"Carlisle?" She whispered as I tightened my grip on her.

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you." She whispered and my body went frigid. But, she turned in my arms and placed her hand to my cheek and I instantly relaxed.

"I feel the same way, Bella." I smiled before realizing what I'd just said.


	9. If Anyone Asks

**Chapter Nine: If Anyone Asks**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"What the?" I asked myself as I began to read to email Jake had written to a _M Morris._

_March 19 20, 2011_

_You were right all along. I saw Dr. Cullen in front of her building today, and saw Alice let him inside. They didn't come out for a very long time and when they did, they crawled down the fire escape and walked towards her car. What do you need me to do?_

_-Jacob Black_

My breathing began to quicken as my heart broke. Jake had been talking to Professor Morris since Carlisle and I got back together? He couldn't have been involved with her though...at least I hoped.

_March 20, 2011_

_Help me break them up. I see the way you look at her, Jacob. You love her and she doesn't deserve Carlisle. Help me, Jake and everything you want will fall into place_

_-Maddie Morris_

"No," I whispered as I read another email. It was another email plotting against us and I decided to flip to more recent emails between them

_September 5, 2013_

_One of my friends has the Photoshop on his computer and has agreed to help me edit the pictures. I've found good, believable pictures of both of them and decent photos to put their faces on. Also, a janitor helped me get the security footage and you were right. Whatever they started they started on school grounds. Why else would she be there all the time when class was out?_

_-Jake_

"Oh my...god." I whispered as I flipped through more pictures and saw the edited pictures early on. I saw a picture from A Walk to Remember with my face on Mandy Moore's and Carlisle on Shane West's. My sadness turned to anger as I walked back to his bedroom and slammed the door behind me, causing hims to stir.

"Bella?" He asked as he wiped his eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I asked, my voice rising. He sat up and shielded his eyes from the light I'd just turned on. I held up the papers so he could see what I had, but his eyes were still adjusting and he still couldn't see them. "Why do you have these, Jacob?"

"Have what?" He asked as innocently as possible. I threw the papers at him so he could see what I was talking about. He gathered them up and began reading them, and then his eyes went big in fright. "Bella, let me explain..."

"What could you possibly explain, Jacob?" I yelled. "You're the reason Carlisle was forced to leave! You're the reason we had to break up! All this time...all this time I TRUSTED you and you...you're the reason!"

"Look, you have to believe that I did this out of love..."

"LOVE?" I asked in disbelief. "You don't love me, Jake! If you did...if you really loved me you would have let me be fucking happy with Carlisle! You would have graciously backed away and let me be with him!"

"It was killing me knowing you were with him!"

"But I was happy with him, Jake." I told him. "I was happy and you ruined that. What...what do you think love is?"

"When you feel you can't live without someone." He shrugged. "Like you'd do anything for them..."

"Well then you don't love me," I spat. "If you did you would have just let me be because...because that's what I wanted. You knew I loved Carlisle. You knew because I told you, I just left out his name."

"Bella,"

"I trusted you, Jake." I cried. "I TRUSTED YOU!"

"Hey, what's going on?" I heard Paul asked as he opened the door. I turned to see the four of them standing at the doorway, looking annoyed and almost scared.

"You!" I yelled, running to them. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" Quill asked, rubbing his eyes. He wasn't taking me seriously and without thinking, I slapped him.

"DID YOU KNOW?" I demanded to know. "THAT I WAS DATING A PROFESSOR AND THAT JAKE WAS THE REASON WE BROKE UP? DID. YOU KNOW?"

"Chill out, Bella." Seth sighed.

"Shut up, Seth." I barked. "I know you guys were lying to me this whole time just like Jake was. You five tell each other EVERYTHING! I should have known you weren't working alone."

"Bella, please." Jake pleaded as he came up from behind me and tried putting his arms on my shoulders. I pushed him away, my anger pulsating through my body.

"A friend with the photoshop program?" I asked Embry since he was going to school for photography and business. "How could you help him?"

"I didn't know what he was using it for, Bella." He sighed. "Honestly."

"I...I'm finding it very hard to believe anything either of you say right now." I cried as tears began filling in my eyes. "I can't believe I trusted you...all of you!"

"Guys, leave." Jake told them as he closed the door on them. "Look, I know what I did was wrong."

"Damn right it was."

"But, who was there for you when you were raped?" He asked making me flinch. "He was no where in sight..."

"You made sure of that!" I yelled. "If you hadn't gotten him kicked out with your edited pictures, no one would have known about our relationship. Professor Michaelson wouldn't have thought I liked having sex with older guys and he wouldn't have raped me, Jake!"

"He might have..."

"Yeah, he might have." I agreed. "But he probably wouldn't have. You're just as resposible for what he did to me as he is."

"Don't you dare compare me to a rapist!"

"I'm not, but..." I cried as I sat on the bed, feeling defeated. "I hate you, Jacob Black!"

"Don't say that," He pleaded as I stood up and pulled my shoes on."

"I hate you, Jake!" I yelled. "I hate what you did! Who you conspired with! I hate that I trusted you! I hate that I fell..." I yelled and I couldn't finish the sentence. "I hate that I fell in love with you."

"You..."

"Not anymore." I sneered as I grabbed my purse and headed towards the door and couldn't even look at the four sitting on Seth's pull out couch.

"Bella! Where are you going?"

"As far away from you as I can get!"

"It's the middle of the night, it isn't safe."

"I'd rather go to the most dangerous parts of the city and get mugged and beaten than stay within one hundred miles of you, Jake." I sighed as I opened the door. I hesitated before leaving and finally turned to him. "You can go to hell, by the way." I yelled before slamming the door behind me. I began to cry uncontrolably. I ran down the stairs and it wasn't until I was in the parking lot that I realized Jake had picked me up from class that day.

I sat down on the front steps and dug my phone out of my pocket and looked through my contacts. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone at the moment. I finally pressed the number of the only person I truly trusted and put my phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" A groggy voice asked on the other line.

"Jasper?" I asked since I'd called Alice. "Where's Alice?"

"In the bathroom," He sighed. "I think she may have food poisoning."

"Oh," I sighed. "Do you think you could come get me?"

"Yeah, where are you?" He asked immediately. I then realized I could trust Jasper just as much as I could trust Alice.

"Jake's." I sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it. How fast can you be here?"

"Ten minutes?" He asked.

"Okay," I sighed as I hung up the phone. I hadn't even heard the door to the building open and footsteps coming closer to me.

"I really am sorry, Bella." Jake whispered as he sat down next to me. I just scooted further away from him, not wanting to be near him at all. "You have to know I never wanted to hurt you. Those papers shouldn't have been laying out."

"So, you're just sorry you got caught?" I snapped. "Jake, you can't say anything to make this better. We're over and I want absolutely nothing to do with you. Ever again."

"But..."

"You don't get this, do you?" I asked. "You've broken our trust...you cost a man his job and wrecked my relationship with him. Jake, don't you get it...you were my rebound and I've been planning to end it with you if he came back to me. Hell, I probably would have ended it when I found someone better even if Carlisle didn't come back to me at graduation. And the only reason I chose to start dating you was because you showed up at the hospital. If I hadn't been so scared and vulnerable, we wouldn't have even began dating."

"Bella,"

"Back off, Jake." I snapped. "I don't want you!" He nodded his head sadly and stood up just as I saw Jasper's truck pulling into the lot. I jumped into the truck and made him speed away as he could.

"You wanna talk about it?" Jasper asked as we neared the apartment. I kept my eyes on the scenery moving by as I looked out the window and shook my head. I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and try forgetting this happened.

Because, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I loved Jake. I really did.I had grown to really care about him and then the last few weeks, caring turned into love. I couldn't help myself. I lied when I told him I'd probably break up with him if Carlisle didn't show, because, in reality...I would have stayed with him. For as long as he wanted me. I even pictured us buying an apartment together after graduation if Carlisle didn't show.

I wanted this all to be a dream. I didn't want to let him go again. He was my best friend, even before this year we were always close. He was sweet, a good listener, a good kisser, smart. Everything I wanted, he was. Everything he was...he was perfect. He helped me see the light and helped me have fun after Carlisle left. And, if I were being honest, if it weren't for him, I'd be a huge mess.

It had only been a few minutes and I missed him.

But, he'd shattered my trust. He was everything I hated. He was the person who helped split Carlisle and up. And, I wasn't blaming him in particular, but I was write when I said I wouldn't have been raped if he hadn't gotten rid of Carlisle.

Jasper pulled up in front of my building, but I didn't move. I didn't want to go inside, afraid if I went in...I'd never come out. He came around his truck and opened the door for me, offering his hand for me to take. I took one look at his extended hand and then his face and burst into tears. Jasper was so perfect and I was almost angry at him for being the most generous guy I'd ever met.

He slowly pulled me out of the truck and swung his arms under my knees and back to carry me inside. Somehow, he was able to swipe his card and unlock the door to get us inside the apartment. He carried me to my bedroom and gently laid me down on my bed.

"What happened?" Alice asked groggily as she came into my room. "Are you sick?" She asked and I just shook my head as I pulled my blanket over my head. I felt Jasper kiss the top of my head before leaving my room.

"I think her and Jake had a big fight and broke up." I heard Jasper explain. "She hasn't spoken a word to me since I picked her up."

"Why didn't she call me?"

"She did." He said. "But, you were in the bathroom and I wasn't going to have you go get her when you felt so sick."

"So, she didn't say...anything?"

"Not a word." He sighed as I heard their footsteps heading towards her bedroom.

* * *

"Bella?" Alice's voice asked outside my door as she knocked the next morning. "Bella, please talk to me."

I couldn't talk. I knew she'd never say it, but she told me so. She told me it was a bad idea to get involved with Jake and she was very, very right. Finally, she just opened my door and gently closed it behind her. She came up and sat on the edge of my bed and yanked my blanket off my head.

"Hey, you're scarring me." She told me. "I haven't seen you like this since Carlisle left."

"Jake...he helped Maddie break Carlisle up." I cried. "He photoshopped the photos. He was in cahoots with her this whole time. He's the reason Carlisle's gone."

"Oh, Bella." She sighed as she laid down with me. I cried on her shoulder for hours. I wasn't just crying because Jake had broken my heart and trust, but because for the first time since Carlisle left I felt...alone. Not in the sense I had no one. But, in the sense no one was really there for me. Like I couldn't actually trust anyone. Jasper and Alice were family to me, they didn't count.

"I...I trusted him, Alice." I cried. "I trusted him."

"I know, Bella." She sighed as she held me. For the first time since meeting, Alice was stumped and had no idea what to say to me. I didn't know what I wanted to her say. "But, now you can move on. Away from NYU."

"I'm never going to be able to trust anyone again."

"Yes you will." She sighed. "Not all guys are going to do this to you."

"No, but guys will lie." I told her. "They'll lie and cheat to get what they want. That's true in every guy." I cried. "All of them but...Carlisle."

"Then have hope he'll come back."

"I do have hope." I told her honestly. "But, it was nice having Jake there."

"To fall back on?"

"Kind of." I sighed. "I know it was wrong, but...I really did love Jake, Alice." I told her. "Just not as much as I loved Carlisle."

"I get it."

"But, who knows," I cried. "Maybe in time...I could have loved Jake as much as I love Carlisle." I said. "But, now I'll never have a chance to know...because I can never forgive him."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Well, another month and you'l be away from NYU and able to move on." She whispered. "Maybe even move on from Carlisle."

"Yeah, maybe." I sighed in agreement. If Carlisle didn't come back, I would have to move on. Maybe I'd move to Washington or Chicago and find a job there. Maybe I'd become a traveling journalist or an author in LA. There were a lot of possibilities if Calrisle didn't come back. And if he did...maybe I'd be the wife who wrote from home to take care of her family.

The possibilities were endless.

And then, I saw the silver lining.

* * *

After two weeks of moping and sobbing, I was done being hurt. I was tired of being the girl who broke down every time she lost a guy. I was stronger than that. So, Saturday morning I got up and cooked Alice and Jasper breakfast, trying to pay them back for taking care of me after Jake and I broke up.

Thankfully, Jake got the hint and didn't try to talk to me very much. I was even lucky enough that we didn't get paired together for a project in our lit class. It was hard though. I could always feel his eyes on me, but I couldn't turn to face him. I couldn't look at him without feeling betrayed or angry. I wanted to burst into tears when I walked into the same room as him, looking at him would kill me.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked as he came out of their bedroom when I was putting the pancakes on the table for them.

"Making you two breakfast." I smiled as I handed him a glass of orange juice.

"You didn't have to do this, Bells."

"I wanted to." I shrugged. " You guys did so much for me these past few weeks, I wanted to repay the favor."

"You never have to repay us anything, Bella." Alice told me as she came out of the bathroom. "We're here unconditionally."

"I know, but I want to show you how much I appreciate that."

"And...pancakes are the best way to do that?" Jasper laughed as he took a big, heaping bite.

"Well, they say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach." I laughed. "And I thought...the two of us could go out on a girls night tonight." I said to Alice.

"Tonight?"

"Or sometime this week." I shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."

"Tonight would be perfect." She smiled. "Jazz and I found this really cool bar right down the street. It's a classy bar, you'll like it."

"Classy?" I laughed.

"Yeah, it isn't like a sports bar crawling with college kids looking to get waisted." She told me. "Trust me, you'll love it."

"I'm sure I will." I told her. "But, if we're going to get drunk tonight, I should probably go do some school work now so we can nurse our hangovers in the morning."

"Good idea."

"I'll be at the library!" I called as I grabbed my school bag and headed out the door. When I got outside, I felt better. The air was warming quickly, the trees were in full blossom, and the grass was beautifully green. Spring was by far my favorite season. I spotted Jacob and Seth by a coffee cart by the library entrance I ran inside as Seth looked my way, but I was pretty sure he'd seen met.

After three hours in the library, my brain was complete mush and I decided it was time to call a quits. I gathered my things and headed outside, where Jake was sitting on the steps. I contemplated going inside and going out the back way, but I'd just have to come back around this way to get to my apartment, so it was pointless. I took a deep breath, said a prayer he wouldn't notice me, and began my way down the steps.

"Bella," He called softly as I walked in front of him.

"Damn," I whispered and stopped walking, not understanding why I wasn't still walking.

"Can...can we talk?" He asked and I turned to see two coffee cups in his hands. I looked up at his face and almost didn't recognize him. He wasn't shaved, his hair was shaggier and he just looked...sad. I hadn't really looked at him since breaking up and he looked worse than I did.

"No, Jacob." I sighed. I didn't wanna fight with him. Not here.

"Please,"

"Jake, what's done is done." I sighed. "Let it go and move on."

"I don't wanna move on." He admitted. "You're the love of my life."

"No I'm not." I argued. "If I was, you wouldn't have gone behind my back like you did, Jake."

"It was a mistake out of weakness." He told me. "Professor Morris was so convincing."

"She's manipulative, Jake." I explained. "She didn't wand you to get the girl, she wanted me gone so she could have Carlisle. She didn't care about you or us."

"I figured."

"Let me go, Jake." I sighed. "The quicker you do...the better you'll be."

"I...I don't know what to do without you, Bella." He cried. "I regret what I did...but I miss you and want a second chance."

"I can't trust you, Jacob!" I told him. "And I can't be with someone I can't trust."

"What if I earn my trust back."

"You can't, Jacob." I sighed as I turned around.

"Bella, please."

"Jacob," I sighed as I walked over to him and placed my hand on his cheek, wiping away the tears that were falling. "Please, do what's best for both of us and let me go. Go home and shave, get a hair cut and go out. Go to a party and meet someone else."

"I don't want anyone else."

"Well, you've got things to figure out then." I sighed. "But, I can't be with you, Jake. It hurts too much."

"But,"

"I'm sorry." I said, trying to hold back my tears. "This is over. For good." I told him, turning around and walking away. I almost made it to my building before bursting into tears and I realized I was right back where I started two weeks ago.

Sad and alone.

* * *

Another month passed and finals were over. Alice and I began packing up the apartment while her and Jasper planned a wedding. This was it.

"You ready to go?" Alice asked from the doorway to my room. I looked around and saw all the boxes packed and my walls bare and nodded. This was it. This was graduation day.

"As ready as I ever will be." I smiled. She took my hand and we walked to the grass where white chairs were set up, facing a stage. I smiled knowing my parents would be here soon.

I also grew hopeful. It was finally the day Carlisle and I could see each other without Dean Gregory getting in the way and kicking me out. This was the day I would see Edward for the first time in months and hug him til he was blue in the face. This was the day for a lot of things.

If he showed up.


	10. Easy to See

**Chapter Ten: Easy to See**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

"Excuse me?" Lizzie sputtered after I did the one thing you should never do while saying 'I love you' I said Bella's name instead of Lizzie's and I was so going to hell for that.

"Lizzie." I quickly said. "I love you too, Lizzie."

"You said...you said Bella." She cried, pushing me away. "You still love her?"

"Lizzie,"

"Answer the question, Carlisle!" She yelled through the tears.

"Yes," I answered honestly. "I'm sorry but...I do."

"So...what was I to you, Carlisle?" She cried. "A rebound you were going to dump once this precious Bella came back?"

"I was your rebound!" I argued. She hadn't been divorced for very long before I came along and jumped right into something with me. "You told me you weren't looking for something serious."

"At the time!" She shouted. "I wasn't ready when we first met, but it's been five and a half months, Carlisle. I'm ready and...I'm still your rebound."

"You knew about Bella!" I told her. "You knew what happened to us!"

"Yeah and after you kept things going between us I thought it'd be over for the two of you." She cried as she turned away so I couldn't see her tears streaming down her cheeks. "You know, I've been in a lot of shitty relationships."

"Lizzie,"

"But...even the biggest ass holes were honest with me." She cried. "None of them said the wrong name when they told me they loved me."

"Don't campare me to Aaron!" I shouted about her filthy ex husband. "You know I've treated you better in five months than he did in five years!"

"Yeah, but he never told me he loved Bella."

"People make mistakes, Lizzie!"

"Yeah," She agreed. "But this was the first time I ever told you...you said Bella when I was feeling most vulnerable."

"Lizzie,"

"If we'd been saying it to each other for two months, maybe I'd understand the little slip of the tongue." She cried. "But you saying her name told me everything I need to know." She told me as she began walking away.

"Lizzie! Where are you going!"

"Far away from you."

"Lizzie, please!" I begged. I did love Bella and was going to get her back, but I didn't want things to end like this for Lizzie and I. "Let's talk about this."

"There isn't anything you can say, Carlisle!" She yelled. "You said another woman's name. You aren't over her and if I stay with you...I'm just going to end up with a broken heart another time instead of now."

"I..."

"It's over, Carlisle." She told me. "It has to be."

"At least let me give you a ride home." I offered and she stopped walking and turned to me, giving me a small nod as I walked over to the car. It was the least I could do.

I'd never had such a tense car ride before. She was silently sobbing as she looked out the window as I held back tears. I never wanted to hurt her. She was my best friend at work and I really care about her. It was wrong from the beginning to start something with her, knowing all along come May we'd be over no matter how well things were going. I shouldn't have started it, but I couldn't help myself. She was so beautiful, funny, and smart. She was just like Bella except she was my age.

I pulled up to her place and she got out without saying a word, slammed the door and stormed off inside. I took some time to cool off before starting the car again and heading back home. Edward was passed out on the couch and I gently covered him with a blanket. I gave him a soft kiss on his forehead, and smiled with the knowlege no matter how many woman come and go, Edward would always be there.

I went upstairs to my bedroom and cringed at the picture of Lizzie and I on my dresser. But, I left it where it was as I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. But, after an hour of tossing and turning, I sat up and grabbed my phone, dialing a number I hadn't in so long.

"Hello?" He asked, his voice sounding raspy from sleep.

"Hi, Emmett." I smiled. It had been way too long since we talked. It felt good. "Can we talk?"

"Carlisle, it's midnight." He sighed, but I knew he'd listen.

"I know, but it's important."

"Okay, hold on." He sighed and I could hear him rustling around and then a door opening and closing. "What's up?"

"I said I love you Bella." I told him. "To Lizzie."

"You said...Bella's name?" He asked, sounding surprised. "How'd that happen?"

"I don't know." I cried. "I mean, things have been going great with Lizzie. She's smart, funny, beautiful. Everything I like in a girl."

"You mean, she's an older version of Bella?" He asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. But, he wasn't wrong.

"I guess." I shrugged. "That's not the point."

"Yes it is, Carlisle." He laughed. "What color hair does she have?"

"Brown."

"And her eyes."

"Brown."

"And she's smart, funny and pretty?" He asked. "Carlisle, you chose to be with Lizzie cause she reminded you of Bella."

"I mean, a little but..."

"There isn't an arguement you can make, Carlisle." He laughed. "She's Bella and she reminds you of Bella and that's why you said Bella's name."

"No, I just haven't said I love you to anyone since I left Bella."

"You can tell yourself that, Carlisle." He sighed. "But, you and I know both know it isn't true."

"I never wanted to hurt her." I whispered. "That was never my intention."

"Then, what was your intention, Carlisle?" He asked.

"I don't know. I just wanted to forget about the pain for a while." I sighed. "I wanted to feel good again and Lizzie had been there since I got to Pittsburgh. It was easy to get involved with her because she didn't expect much."

"But, now she does."

"I dont think she expects much...except for me to not say another girls name."

"You were going to break up with her in May anyway, maybe this is for the best."

"Maybe, but...I don't want her to be hurt."

"She's going to be hurt either way, Carlisle." He kindly pointed out.

Emmett was right. She was going to get hurt whenever the time came to end things. Maybe it was best now, a few months before I met up with Bella again.

* * *

I finally fell asleep after two hours of tossing and turning, only to be woken up by Edward sooner than I thought he'd be up.

"What are you still doing in bed?" He asked. "And I thought Lizzie was gonna be here."

"We had a fight, Edward." I groaned. "And broke up."

"Really? I was just starting to like her." He sighed as he sat down on my bed. "What happened."

"Edward,"

"I'm not a little kid, dad." He huffed. "We can have guy talk...can't we?"

"Yes, I think we can." I smiled as he got under the covers and I sat up. I turned to him and told him exactly what happened. Even though he was thirteen, even he knew what I did was shitty and practically critisized me for what I did. But, I didn't miss the smile on his face when he realized Lizzie wouldn't be getting in the way of Bella and I getting back together.

Although there was no certain answer about Bella and I, I was confident we would end up together. We were too close and had too much together for this to end like it did. I told her I'd be back and I only prayed she believed me and was no longer involved with that Jake kid. If she wasn't, I'd beat the hell out of him.

"So, this means you and Bella are really getting back together?"

"If she wants to, yes."

"She wants to, Dad." He laughed. "She's Bella and you're you. You guys have get back together."

"I sure hope you're right, kid." I sighed. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to spend the rest of the day in bed and read a book and watch TV."

"Why?"

"Because, I did care about Lizzie and I am upset about breaking up."

"But, you love Bella."

"Yes, I do." I sighed. "But, that doesn't mean losing Lizzie was easy, Edward."

He left me alone for the rest of the day and gave me the space I needed. I wasn't a blubbering mess, but it did hurt to be broken up with. No matter how many times it happened, break ups were the absolute worse. And, it didn't help that I was going to have to see her and work next to her the next day. I guess thats what I got for dating a co-worker, but this were what they were. This couldn't be undone, unfortunately.

The next day however, Lizzie wasn't at work and she wasn't answering her phone when anyone called her. I figured she just needed space and if I were in her position, I would need space too. But, when she didn't come to work for the next two weeks, I grew worried. I knew she was upset, and hurt but I knew she loved her job more than anything. Even me.

"I'm worried, mom." I sighed as I put a cup of coffee down in front of her. Her and my dad were vistiting up for Edward's Easter break since it was easier for them to come down then for us to go up. "It's been two weeks and no one has heard from her."

"She needs time, Carlisle." She sighed. "What you did was completely out of line and she didn't deserve that."

"I know, mother." I spat. "I already feel bad enough. I don't need you to lecture me about it, I need you to be my mom and tell me she's okay."

"She's okay, Carlisle." She lied to me. Right now, even my own mother didn't have the answers. "If you believe she's okay, believe it. But, you aren't a little kid anymore."

"I know that."

"Do you?" She asked. "Because, I can't just say everything's okay and that be true. This is real life now and kiddo, you're right in the middle of reality."

"I feel terrible, but what I said was true." I sighed. "I love Bella."

"I know."

"And although I deeply cared about Lizzie, she wasn't my...she wasn't my love." I cried. "So why does that make me the enemy? The bad guy?"

"Because you said the wrong name." She smiled. "Just be glad it was now and not at your wedding like your father."

"Dad?"

"He was engaged to another girl when we met." She laughed, thinking about old times. "He said 'I take thee Helen."

"He did not!"

"I wouldn't lie, Carlisle." She smiled. "The point is, people make mistakes. It's okay to make a mistake."

"Is it?" I asked. "Because every mistake I've made in the last few years have done nothing but hurt the people I love most."

* * *

Lizzie's car was found the Monday after Easter at the bottom of the Allegheny River. Lizzie was not inside, however. Her mother filed a missing persons report and everywhere I looked, I saw her. I saw her on the news, on a flyer. I saw her in the picture I had of us on my desk at work. Lizzie was missing and it was my fault. It was all my fault.

After I'd paced a hole in the floor, I jumped in my car and headed into the city where they pulled her car out of the river. I didn't expect to find anything there, but I just needed some peace or closure or anything to get this off of my mind. I parked my car and walked through the jagged bushes to where the yellow tape was still hanging. Some of it had fell down and life was going on just like it would if she were here.

I did see a person standing there, looking down at the water. She was wearing all black and I had a feeling at the pit of my stomach of who it was. I walked up and stood next to them and waited for her to turn to me.

"This isn't your fault." She cried as she continued to look down.

"Really?" I asked. "Because last time I saw her, she was in tears because of me."

"Yes, you broke my daughters heart." She agreed. "But you didn't drive this car into the river."

"Might have well has."

"My daughter has a bad habit of dating people who aren't suitable for her. The biggest mistake she made was eloping with that ass, Arron Bailey." She said. "You were the only good person who ever came into her life."

"Oh,"

"And when things ended between you two, she went to a sleezey bar and hooked up with some big, black guy." She cried.

"How...how do you know this?"

"She called me the Monday after you two broke up." She said, pulling out her phone. "Listen."

_'Hey mom!' _She slurred_. 'I'm over Carlisle and I found a new guy! Someone who's gonna treat me right. His name is Tyrone and he's going to treat me right! Not like that fucking Carlisle dick!'_

"I get it," I sighed, pulling the phone away from my ear.

"Keep listening."

_'Hey, bitch!' _A deep voice called as I heard her scream._ 'Get the fuck back in bed, fucking fucker!'_

_'Ow! My hair!'_

_"Get back on your knees though!_' he yelled before the phone clicked and the message ended.

"You think he killed her?" I asked.

"If she didn't drive herself into the river, yes."

"But, there isn't a body?" I asked.

"The police said she might be down there." She cried. "Please don't go blaming yourself."

"But,"

"My daughter has never made good choices." She cried. "Between her drug use in high school to her abusive boyfriends. This is in no way your fault." Mrs. Masen walked away through the bushes and my legs felt shaky as I heard an engine start up. I fell to the floor and took out one of the 'Missing Persons' poster I took from the police department when it first came out.

"Lizzie, where are you." I cried as I ran my fingers over her sketched face. I stayed there until I was able to stop crying and stand up. I swung by a pizza place for Edward and he ate by himself while I cried myself to sleep in my room.

Lizzie was gone and I didn't care what Mrs. Masen said. It was my fault.

* * *

Sooner than expected, it was May. I closed my last suitcase and made sure Edward was all packed. He was sitting on his bed, his suitcase completely packed while he sat, shaking his leg like a rabbit, eager to go.

"You excited?" I asked sarcastically as we lugged the bags down to the car. He only punched me in the arm and went back inside to grab the snack bag. It was going to be a long ride and we were going to make it exciting. As exciting as it could be. We were both antsy with anticipation and Lizzie still hadn't been found. Even her family was giving up hope and had held a small memorial service the week before.

If she was dead, they needed to grieve so they could try to get on.

But, Edward was doing a good job at keeping me distraced and talked the entire six hours about soccer, baseball and his potential 'girlfriend' Rachel. I could only laugh at him when he talked about having a girlfriend. He wasn't even fourteen yet. But, if he liked her, I wasn't going to hold him back.

We arrived at my mothers and crashed right away. We had to wake up early to get ready and I knew getting him ready was going to be a chore. He hated dressing nicely these days and I had to fight with him every time he couldn't wear basketball shorts and a t-shirt. Boys were just as difficult as girls, I didn't care what anyone said.

"You need help?" My mother asked as I tried tying my tie. She laughed as I shrugged and came over and began tying it like an old pro. She should be, she tied my father's every single day. "Are you ready?"

"I've been ready."

"I'm not talking about seeing her, Carlisle."

"Yes, mom." I sighed. "I am ready for the possible rejection."

"I just don't want you getting hurt again."

"Mom, I'm already hurt when it comes to hurt." I sighed. "If she has a boyfriend, I can't lose anything else."

"I have a feeling she's going to take you back." She smiled. "Boyfriend or not."

"How can you be so...okay with this?" I asked. I didn't think my mother could really like Bella again after I lost my job because I chose t be with her.

"Weather she's a student or not, she makes you happy." She shrugged. "She makes my grandson happy."

"Dad, let's go!" Edward yelled as he came into my room. "We gotta go get Bella back!"

"Yes we do, Edward." I sighed in nervousness as I grabbed my keys.


	11. There is a Place

**Chapter Elven: There is a Place**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"I give you, New York University's graduating class of 2014!" Dean Gregory exclaimed as I pulled my tassle to the other side. "Congratulations graduates!" He explained as kids threw their hats into the air.

I did it. I'd just graduated my dream school. The school that had given me everything I ever needed to know. Accedemically and about life. After getting my hat back, I went into the sea of black gowns to find Alice and Jasper. They were right where I suspected them to be and before I could go over, Jasper's friends had whisked him away.

Alice spotted me and burst into tears of joy as she ran over to me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and began to cry too. We did it. College was over and now we had the rest of our lives to look forward to.

"I can't believe it!" Alice squealed as she scanned the crowd for her family. "We did it! We really did it!"

"I know!" I sighed as I hugged her again. "This is so surreal..."

"I know, it's hard to imagine that we won't ever..." She stopped in mid sentence as her eyes grew big with surprise.

"Alice?" I asked as a smile crept onto her face and just pointed for me to look behind me. "Alice, what are you..." I asked as I turned around and met the gaze of familiar blue eyes. "Oh god."

Suddenly, I wasn't thinking at all. I began slowly walking towards him, and we finally met after months apart. We stood silently and starred at each other for what seemed like a century. He gave me a small smile and I came crumbling down. I began sobbing and fell into his tight embrace. I could feel him shaking beneath me and I never felt safer.

"I'm so sorry." He cried. "I'm so sorry."

"You did what you had to do." I sobbed. "You made the choice so I could stay in school. You saved me."

"I left you alone and made you into a whore."

"You didn't do anything wrong." I told him. "You did what you had to."

"You were raped because of me."

"I was raped because Professor Michaelson is a creep who deserves to be in jail."

"I shouldn't have left."

"You had to."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know." I cried as I squeezed him tighter. I lifted my head when I felt someone starring and began crying harder when I saw Emmett standing with Edward who looked so different from the last time I saw him. He was a little taller, a little fatter, and more muscular. He smiled at me and like his dad, burst into tears. I pulled him towards me and Carlisle wrapped his arm around Edward as well.

This was worth everything I'd been through this year. Carlisle leaving, and Jake turning out to be a phony. It was all worth it to be reunited with the people I loved most in the world. I held Edward as tight as I could, almost afraid he'd disappear if I let him go. And I cried into Carlisle's shoulder like the world was ending that night.

"I missed you, Bells." Edward cried after he'd let go of us.

"I missed you too, Edward." I smiled as I gently stroked his cheek.

"Come on, Edward." Emmett smiled. "We're going to let your dad and Bella catch up." He said and Edward happily went with him towards the cookie station. I turned to Carlisle again and his tears were gone and he was now smiling the smile that always made me go weak at the knees.

"I love you so much." He said as he grabbed me and pulled me towards him. His lips met mine with a passion that had been missing for so long. Jake never kissed me like this and I just melted into him and gave into everything we'd both been missing out on for seven months.

"What now?" I asked after we'd pulled apart.

"Now, we figure things out." He laughed as I leaned into him again.

"Isabella Marie." I heard my father growl darkly and I never experienced a cold chill going down my spine like that before. I pulled away from Carlisle and turned around to see my parents looking disappointed and angry. They were holding flowers and I just realized I'd probably ruined what should have been a very happy day for them. Now, I'd have to tell them everything.

"Mom, Dad." I chirped nervously as Carlisle gave my hand a tight squeeze.

"I thought you were going to come find us after." My father said through clenched teeth, unable to keep his eyes off of Carlisle.

"I was looking for you." I shrugged. "It was a big crowd."

"Please tell me you aren't the slut sleeping with a professor." My father accused and my heart stung after he said that to me.

"Charlie," My mother snapped as she moved towards me. "What's going on, Bella." I turned to Carlisle who gave me a loving nod, telling me it was time to tell my parents the truth about us. I took a deep breath and put my arm around his waist and smiled.

"I'm not just a '_slut sleeping with my professor_' dad." I sighed. "I'm a _girl_ who is madly in love with this man right here."

"So, he isn't a professor?" My father asked, almost sounding relieved.

"Not...anymore." I gulped.

"Anymore?" My mother asked. "You mean...he was? He taught here at NYU?"

"He was my psyc professor my sophomore year."

"I knew there was a rediculos reason you tried a double major!" My father huffed. "Did you get him fired, Bella?"

"I left on my own." Carlisle interjected. "I was offered a job in Pittsburgh and took it. My ex-wife died at the start of Bella's sophomore year and it was very difficult for my son to move on while living here. So, I took the job at Pitt and moved us there this year."

"You left on your own?" My mother asked while I just looked up at him. He gave me a gentle wink, and reassured me to trust him. "You didn't get fired?"

"No." He smiled. "While the relationship Bella and I have been in was...unethical...we were very careful and resposible."

"And what kind of relationship was that, Professor?" My father barked. "Because I am a cop and I will arrest you..."

"Dad, I was over the age of consent when Carlisle and I started seeing each other." I told him. "And yes, Dad. I am not a virgin. Haven't been for a while."

"Did he pressure you?"

"No, dad." I sighed. "I lost it when I was still in Forks."

"Bella,"

"Well, you asked." I told him. "Look, I love Carlisle. This isn't just some fling or cliche to be with a professor."

"Bella, what about the age difference?" My mother asked. "He has a child."

"Who I loved deeply." I sighed. "Mom, we aren't that far in age."

"Please tell me he's younger than your mother."

"Yes, he is." I sighed, turning back to my mother. "I love Edward more than anything."

"And the only reason he wanted to stay in New York was because of Bella." Carlisle told them. "Mr. and Mrs. Swan, I love your daughter very much and I would never do anything to hurt her. Everyday we spent apart this year was absolutely miserable and honestly, I don't want to be away from her again."

"Well, she's fresh out of college, buddy." My father growled. "So, you may have to spend more time apart for her job."

"Actually, I got offered a job in Pittsburgh." I told my father. "At the Post-Gazzette."

"You never mentioned it." My mother said.

"Well, when Carlisle left we agreed to...take a break...and we weren't sure if we'd get back togehter." I explained which was totally true. "So, I wasn't sure if I was going to take it."

"You took it cause of him?" My father asked. "I hope this is the best job offer you got and you aren't taking it for some guy."

"I got offered a job at the Times," I sighed. "But, Pittsburgh has everything I want. Not just a good job."

"I'll take care of her sir, you can count on that."

"You left her once, how do I know you won't do it again?"

"Because, she's graduated now and no one can interfere with us." He said. "Plus, my son is very happy where he is and I wouldn't dare uproot him again. He means more to me than Bella does."

"Which is exactly as it should be." My mother smiled at me. "I trust him, Charlie. He seems to love Bella very much and they seem genuinley happy."

"I'm watching you." He huffed as he walked away. My mother told me we'd meet at the parking lot when she found him so we could go out with Alice, Jasper and their families.

"You and Edward should come." I told him as I slipped my gown off. "It would be good to talk to my father around more people. He'll have to be at least civil towards you."

"I don't want to intrude."

"I haven't seen you in seven months." I reminded him. "If you don't say yes, I'm going to blow them off and go fuck you in your car."

"Then no." He laughed. "Bella, I'm not your dads favorite person right now."

"Neither am I." I laughed. "Come on, there will be plenty of people to distract him."

"This is what you want?"

"This is what I want."

"Then I'd be happy to join you and your family out to dinner."

* * *

Waking up the next morning had to be the best expierience I'd had in a while. I was snuggled into Carlisle's side and I could hear Edward snoring down the hall. I turned onto my side and just gazed at Carlisle as he slept. Since Edward and his parents were here, we spent our first night back together talking. Just talking. He told me how nice Pittsburgh was and how great Edward was doing in school. I told him about Alice and Jasper's engagement and the countless days in therapy after the rape.

_"I'm so sorry I wasn't there." He cried after I told him exactly what happened. "I should have been there."_

_"If you had been there, it would have been even harder to go back home." I assured him. "I had Alice and Jasper. I was really okay."_

_"But you didn't have me."_

_"No, I didn't." I said. "But, I got through it anyway and I'm okay now."_

_"You are?"_

_"As okay as I can be." I sighed. "I don't think I'll ever be one hundred percent okay and it will always haunt me. But, it's in my past and I have the most wonderful people in my life to get me through tough times. You're back in my life and that's all I care about."_

_"You don't have to worry about me going anywhere, ever again._

I trusted him completely.

"Are you starring at me?" He grumbled as he shifted.

"No, I'm gazing." I laughed as I brushed my lips against his. "How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I have in months." He smiled as he rolled me over on my back and rolled on top of me.

"Your son and parents are in the next room." I reminded him.

"Tonight." He smirked as he gave me another kiss and shifted next to me again. He brought me close to his side and we just laid together, enjoying the closeness. It had been too long since I smelled his cologne or felt his mucsles beneath me. I missed everything about him. After a half hour laying together, we finally got out of bed when we heard clatter in the kitchen.

Carlisle and I spent the day with Edward. As much as I missed Carlisle, I missed Edward just as much and needed to spend time with him as well. We took him to his favorite pizza place and down to a small practice field. Even with Carlisle and I ganging up on him, he still scored more goals than we did...and it was two against one.

"Damn, Edward." I panted after we'd called a quits. "You're fantastic."

"Thanks." He smiled. After that, we hit an ice creme shop before heading home. Carlisle had booked us a hotel room so we could finally be alone and his grandparents were taking him on a night on the town. He loved Pittsburgh, but New York City would always be his home. After they headed out, Carlisle dragged me to the car and drove to the hotel.

I was speechless when he pulled up to one of the nicest hostels in the city.

"Carlisle, this is too much." I protested.

"Look, I love you and I want to make this night special."

"It would be special in a less expensive hotel."

"Hey, I haven't spoiled you in seven months." He laughed. "Please, just let me do this."

"Okay," I sighed in agreement because I really did want to stay there. We checked in and made our way up to our room. When the door was shut, he dropped our bags and spun me around. He crashed his lips into mine and the world went dark. The only thing there was, was Carlisle. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and began playing with the hem of his shirt.

He picked me up off the ground and began carrying me to the bedroom and when he set me down again, I pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his well sculpted abdomen. I softly ran my hands over his stomach and smiled. It was just like I remembered. I looked up and met his eyes and smiled as he pulled my shirt over my head, and pulled my bra over my shoulders, leaving me completely bare.

He gently picked me up again and put me onto the bed and crawled on top of me. He began kissing my neck and continued to kiss down my stomach until he reached my belly button, causing me to convulse with pleasure. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled him back up to my lips and reached out to unbutton his jeans. I pushed them down his legs, leaving him in just his boxers. I pushed his boxers down and left him bare. Just the way I liked him.

He pulled my leggings down my legs along with my underwear, leaving both of us naked. His lips met mine again and we continued to just kiss and feel each other, taking the time to remember each other before he finally pushed up onto his knees. He softly positioned himself at my entrance and looked at me, making sure it was okay. I smiled at him while nodding and he slowly pushed into me.

"Oh, god!" I moaned as he began to slowly pump in and out of me. It had been too long since I was with him and I was ready to explode within seconds of him being inside me. But, that night we didn't have rough, hot sex. We made tender love and made promises to each other. That night, we promised to always love each other and always be with one another.

* * *

"So, you're really taking that job in Pittsburgh?" My father huffed a week after my graduation. Him and my mom were flying home and I wasn't going with them...and that's something they thought would happen.

"Yeah, I really am." I sighed. I knew how much he hated the situation, but I just prayed he'd still be supportive.

"You need anything at all...you just call." He sighed, trying to be tough about the situation but I knew he was heartbroken. His little girl was all grown up and moving on with her life.

"I know, dad." I smiled. "I've always called when I needed you. Always."

"And if this...this thing with...Carlisle...doesn't work out," He told me. "You come home. We'll always be there for you, baby girl."

"Dad," I cried, wrapping my arms around him. "I'll be fine."

"I just want whats best for you, sweetie."

"Carlisle is whats best for me, dad." I smiled. "Carlisle's the only person who's actually been there for me. I trust him, and you need to trust me."

"I do trust you." He sighed. "Its just...you've never had the best luck..."

"Dad, Carlisle isn't going to rape me." I assured him. "One of the only thing he wants to do right now is kill Professor Michaelson."

"Really?"

"One of the first things he said to me." I told him. After I said goodbye to my mother and gave him one last hug, they got into their cab. I wanted as they drove away and turned back to Carlisle. We were going to have dinner with Emmett and his family and then the next morning, we were leaving for Pittsburgh. We spent the rest of the night with his parents and Edward before going to bed.

"I don't wanna leave." I sighed. I knew he had a life and job he had to get back to and pulling Edward out of school for a week was rediculose in the first place, but it was true. New York had been my home for four years, it was weird thinking this was it.

"Me either." He told me as he threw a sweated in his duffle bag. I rolled my eyes as I went over to him and found everything just rolled up in a ball. "Can you tell I hate packing?"

"Go watch TV with your parents." I sighed. "I'll do this."

"I can do it."

"Really?" I mocked as I pointed to his bag. He turned red before kissing my cheek and going downstairs. As I was putting the last shirt into his bag, there was a soft knock at the door. "Come in."

"Hello," I heard his fathers voice greet softly.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Cullen?" I asked as my body stiffened. I was afraid he hated me even more since his worst fear came true when Carlisle lost his job at NYU because of me.

"You don't need to be so formal, girl." He chuckled as he sat down on the bed. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," I smiled as I put his shampoo and conditioner into the bag.

"I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize?" I asked. "For what?"

"The way I acted towards you when you and my son began seeing each other." He sighed. "No matter how afraid I was for him, that didn't give me the right to call you...a whore."

"Mr...George...that was a while ago."

"I know, but I never did apologize like I should have." He sighed. "It may have been wrong, but my son was happy with you. He smiled like he did before Esme cheated and Edward told me he was singing in the shower. He was happy and that's what should have mattered."

"You know Esme cheated?" I asked since Carlisle told me they didn't know and he told them things just weren't working.

"Yes, I know." He told me. "I wish I didn't, but I do. I figured it out when Carlisle went into such a depression that Helen and I watched Edward for two weeks before he could even get out of bed."

"He was depressed?"

"Very much." He said. "I figured he wouldn't have been that devestated if things just...'weren't working out' I know my son better than anyone."

"I want you to know...that I would never hurt Carlisle." I assured him. "Ever."

"I know." He smiled. "And so does Carlisle."


End file.
